Cont. It might sound dramatic and you might not feel like this reflects your feelings at all, but for me I wasn’t prepared to let the toxic environment my sister had caused in my family (from when I was young and continuing into adulthood) to seep into my own family and impact my husband and children.
Firstly I just want to say I’m so sorry for your loss and that this is a source of stress for you when you are also grieving. Just my two cents but it is always okay to make your own choices on this matter and put your and your husbands mental health and boundaries first. I know some people will argue family is always family etc but I feel that people don’t get a lifetime free pass into your life just because they are related. I recently lost my own dad with my mum having passed 8 years ago and am estranged from my sister, I am sure there are many in our family who would have expected me or us to make contact again at that point but to me far too much has happened and history has repeated far to many times. It took my daughter coming along for me to realise how important it is to protect my own mental health ( and by extension my daughter and husband’s) by keeping my distance.
Sounds tricky but I feel like dying ppl are wise 🙈 so I deffo wouldn’t just forget about it but maybe give yourself some time first for your anger to settle and then maybe try with small steps go for a coffee tell them taktvollerer upset you and even tell them about the last wish so it’s not just your responsibly but also theirs 🤷♀️ x
My MIL asked the same thing to forgive my SIL, I refused. when people show their true colors believe them especially after the same thing is done over and over again. I have no space in my heart to get over the hurt and misery she has caused me. It is what it is. It’s important to set boundaries and protect your mental health, takers will always take, it’s your job not to let them