Am I wrong to be upset that my husband won’t even attempt to make a dent in the pregnancy books I bought him?
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@Angelina Yeah he only reads books he likes, he’s more of a movies and video games guy. I’ll suggest the app tomorrow! I just want him to be more involved
My hubby is the same way! He had a birthing partner book and he did try to get into it, but the app ended up catching more of his attention and he enjoyed the different things he could compare the baby’s size to. I think the 12 week mark it was a chicken nugget😂
Ima be honest here. As much as it would be nice. I wouldn't force him. But if you are really upset about this do yourself the favor and just read the book for what week you are on, do a short summary and tell it to him. Make the pain of reading easy. My fiance bought me a pregnancy book expecting me to read all 500 pages and it's still underneath my bed. It's a nice thought. I looked at it a little for some of the pregnancy symptoms but I never bothered to read the whole thing. It's better to go through something then read it off a page. Besides if I have a question I asked Google. It's not like the book described what the exact pain of a syatic nerve can feel like , the fact that you indeed can get a tear in your foot, what a blood clot in a hemorrhoid feels like. You know the good o fun fun. (If it did though I would grabbed that book and read it, and or read it out loud to him so he could imagine what i went though 🤣)
Which books did you get? Maybe getting him several was a little overwhelming as well. I got my boyfriend We're Pregnant when I was pregnant with my first, and even though he doesn't read much it broke it down by weeks/months/trimesters so it wasn't something he felt he had to sit down and read all at once. He read each section as I progressed through the pregnancy so he knew what I was going through at the time. I also think an app might be a good alternative as well!
You’re not wrong to be upset! I was researching baby gear and what to expect the second I got pregnant, and it took my husband almost 8 months to do any birthing or baby research. It was frustrating, but it does help to talk about your feelings and get to the root of his procrastination. It’s good practice for communicating about how needs/feelings will constantly change with a newborn. As for the books, maybe that isn’t the medium that works best? If he prefers videos, you could send him the link to a video you watched that you found helpful. I made a YT playlist as I did my research and shared it with my husband so he could reference them often.
My husband is not a reader. He just can’t focus. But he was so so excited for baby and wanting to be supportive. He sorta just skimmed thru a dad book and checked out little facts about each stage when we were going thru it. I’m the reader- I’d share what I was learning just because it was interesting. If I would have known there was an app I would have had him do that. Maybe ask him to set a timer for 10 min and read before he plays video games and explain what it would mean to you without trying to shame him (easier said than done).
Mine didn’t read his baby books or care about baby gear or the nursery or preparations, any of that. It was infuriating I was as frustrated as you are but i now know it was just wasted energy. I would photograph the things in my books that were really important that I wanted him to know and I sent them to him. And I had him watch a few safety videos with me (he fell asleep during one and I got SOOO upset 😅). Honestly just make sure he understands basic safety. The rest of it is irrelevant because he is an incredible father regardless. I have come to accept that everyone loves in different ways. My love language is knowledge & his is experience. I can’t force my ways onto him because his mind just doesn’t work the same as mine. And being different helps us thrive as parents, constantly having different perspectives. I know it’s frustrating, but try not to dwell on it like I did. I let it eat me up and I even resented him for it, but that all went away the second I saw him as a father.
My hubby didn’t care for any of that , I would just tell him the big important things or be like , you know what I learned in the book “ ….” . But once the baby came, he was a natural and is the best dad . And he was constantly looking things up, “can baby sleep on.. can be eat… . Don’t get mad , you read and learn if that’s what you want to do and be happy that he’s there and the baby will be loved and sometimes the best learning is hands on
My husband downloaded the “big daddy” app. It’s basically “what to expect” for men lol. I think he liked using that more than reading any books we got for him. It outlined my weekly changes with baby and it was more digestible for him that way. Maybe your hubby just isn’t a book guy?