Mother-in law posting baby pictures on FB
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If she is upset by it on her birthday it’s because she decided to give no fucks about your families boundaries. The negativity is on her. Get your partner to message to take the photo down. Doesn’t need to be nasty but firm
This is so hard and I am so sorry. I’m experiencing the same problem right now with my mother. My in-laws do like to post pictures of the grandkids without permission but have actually been more respectful of the boundary we expressed than my mother has been. She literally screamed at me when I asked if she wouldn’t mind covering my daughter’s face in the (public) profile picture she posted…then told me I was unhinged and aggressive. Why people can’t just be decent, I’ll never understand. Stick to your guns and report the image.
Nip it in the butt immediately. If she can’t remove the pictures she can’t have access to taking or receiving pictures of the baby. The longer y’all let it slide, the more she’ll think she’s in the clear to do it.
Agree with all of this!! ^ don’t wait, doesn’t matter if it’s her birthday because she didn’t respect what either of you had to say so why should you respect if it’s her birthday or just another regular day? Tell her if she doesn’t take them down and stop posting his face that you’ll report her photos and she won’t get any more pics of the baby 🤷🏼♀️ since she didn’t get it the first few times, you have every right to go ahead and be firm and rude if you have to in order to protect your baby!
That’s so tough given her initial response, followed by the display picture, followed by the feeling you need to be delicate around her birthday. Sorry you’re facing this! I think a lot of people, and particularly the older generation don’t understand the full complexity around online posting, and they’ll never be able to experience the impact of growing up in a world of ever changing social media pressures & risks (which our children will). I don’t think you should ever have to justify any of the boundaries you set for your own child - but do you think that by sharing your specific concerns and research around child digital privacy/safety - it may help them understand and even stop the sulking? Maybe this is something you can do before heading home for peace of mind 🤍
You’ve tried talking to her and she doesn’t understand. Report the picture through Facebook and they’ll get it removed. I personally wouldn’t send her anymore pictures until she understands why you both want the privacy.
Speak to her once more, if she doesn’t take the pic down report it to fb, and threaten her you won’t be sending pics of the baby anymore. She’ll stop eventually specially if she doesn’t live close by so can’t take pics herself. Advocate for your son of no one else will. Your baby, your rules! You can do this mama! Oh yeah, and fuck it if it’s her bday, she’ll want to take even more pics with baby and probably post them online, so be really clear on that with her. You’ve got this 💪🏼
U can report the picture and have it taken down
Report it to FB too!
Camera availability these days can be great, but awful as well. Glad I was done with college before smartphones! Rofl!
Sadly, even if she fully understands why, now that they've butted heads, she's probably going to die on this hill, despite being 100% wrong (MIL).
My MIL literally done the same thing. I came home from the hospital after having my baby and saw not only had she posted pictures of him 2 days after he was born but she also set him as his profile pic. IMO it’s just weird behaviour and uncouth. I feel like it’s common sense to ask parents whether they’re ok before posting pics but some people clearly don’t seem to comprehend that.
Don't wait, but it's also not your place if you have done your part in talking to her already it's your partners job to talk to his mother and get it through to her.
@Adele I’ve reported pics of my in laws with my son over 3 dozen times and it’s still up unfortunately. Unfortunately FB reports won’t always help.
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@Carlene Langley it’s disgusting really. They’ll quite happily ban people for inappropriate comments on a post but when privacy is violated they don’t want to know 🤷🏼♀️
@Adele she posted on FB before I got FB when he was 1 month old and my mom lmk that she was happy we changed our minds and gave the ok to post him and sent me the post and I was infuriated bc I had no clue about it especially when they knew we didn’t want others posting him. My social media only has 25 ppl now and is on private for his safety . I reported that photo on her phone several times and she actually blocked my MIL 😬 but the post remains.
@Carlene Langley use this link to report: https://m.facebook.com/help/contact/144059062408922?wtsid=rdr_0oBxhUjqvnWyz0Sxa - it’s to report a privacy rights violation and goes to a human not the algorithm. Do it on a computer though as you’ll need the URLs of the photos you’re reporting.
@Anna no I don’t. I also have her blocked on FB
Hello Ladies, first thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I cannot thank you all enough. Update: My partner and I approached MIL again asking why she posted another picture. She said she thinks we just want to control them, that since we don't share his face we do not love him or are not proud of him. She said it's stupid and that she will not respect us and hide his face. "Stop reading the Internet and live ur life to the fullest. He is my family and my grandson so I get to do whatever I want because I'm proud of you and him" she started to get petty saying things like "you come to my home and I set no boundaries, I want you to feel at home so why are you doing this?" She mentioned that there are things I do sh3 doesn't like and she doesn't say another to me therefore I should too, not say anything. She straight up said she thinks it's my idea only and that I'm manipulating my partner because "I know you(my partner) you'd want me to share him with my friends and family" ......
We set up a app that only family members have access to with all his pictures so it's not like she gets no pictures of him. It's just we don't want his face on social media. She said its stupid and that we're overthinking it and that we're too sensitive. She started to cry and said that she just wants to see his pictures on FB because he misses us and we live in a different country and she doesn't get to have such a good bond with us (but u get to see his pictures on th3 familyalbum 🤨) she lied that we kept them away during my pregnancy and after birth which is not true. I wanted them to see him ASAP after birth because they couldn't come to see us first. She just doesn't understand that we are trying to keep him safe and keeps saying "are you not proud of him?" She even attacked me personally by saying "you have pictures of ur boobs out and ur ex on ur Instagram but you're not proud of ur son?" Sh3 at some point said " then don't send me pictures of him, I don't want to see it.
I'm beyond angry idk what to do we didn't even get to the point of telling them the consequences, it was such a uncomfortable talk, my partner and I were just told all this and we have no idea what to do. I'm crying as I'm writing this god I never knew someone could be so horrible, I just want to keep him saf3 ffs. I will use the link @Anna to report it but idk because she will know its me. I feel so disrespect and just hopeless. I don't want to cut them off but if they do this I can see them later not listening to us about anything else like not giving too much chocolate etc.. idk I'm so lost 😔
This is so upsetting to read, I’m so sorry @Julia, her reaction was completely uncalled for. There’s no need for her to make personal digs aimed at you (I hope your partner shut that down), or for her to feel that she has the right to gaslight you guys. To not even give you the time to explain, because it’s not convenient for her to hear, just proves that she’s being entirely selfish in this situation. Personally, as sad as it is, I would carry through with her ‘request’ to not receive pictures, and remove her access to the photo sharing app until she apologises for her accusations and agrees to your boundaries. She may not like or agree with your parenting decisions, but she has to respect you, and the boundaries you set around your child. Limiting her access will show how serious you are and that she cannot get her way with tears and harsh words. Please know that she is the one blowing this out of proportion, not you guys xx
@Rachel 💯💯 She's making it about her and it's flat out not. She needs to respect yalls decision if she agrees with it or not. Reiterating that it is not anything other than the child's safety they decide on how to take it but just make sure it is crystal clear that it is nothing personal and if she can't get that & is posting the pics you send in the group you parents need to do what is best for your child. ✨So sorry you are going through this though 💕💕
Me personally would confront her as soon as I saw them. Tell her if she doesn’t remove them she will no longer be trusted with photos of my child.