What words of wisdom would you give to a first-time mom?
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your baby will never be this little again
Let Them Enjoy All The Things You Got In Trouble For Doing As A Child ❤️❤️
Stop worrying, stop trying to be perfect, enjoy every moment.
Accepting help does not mean you have failed
Depression is real, take it easy.
Don’t feel obligated to do anything for people other than you and your baby! If I could go back, I’d have not let a whole bunch of people i don’t know come into my home to “meet the baby,” five lbs, two weeks old, cleaning my house instead of focusing on US. THEY can wait.
You need to take care of yourself to be the best mom for child.
Don't be afraid to speak your mind about what you want, what your baby needs in the first few months or you'll feel railroaded by other people and their choices e.g "Sorry but my baby's sleeping so no, I don't want you to disturb her" "I'd like to hold her again so can you pass her back to me now please" "It's time for a nap so I'll have to ask you to go but thanks for visiting"
The best advice I can give you is to ignore all the unsolicited advice and do what works for you and your baby
And what annabelle said! Most fellow mommas will be delighted to help you, honored to be a part of your community. Ask for help when you’re drained 💛
Sleep when baby sleeps, no really, sleep when that baby sleep!
That the post partum period is gross! I had no idea about the night sweats, I would wake up drenched in sweat. And obviously I had breast pads for milk leaking but hadn't connected that wearing these for 24 hrs meant wearing a bra all day every day, and that two bras really wasn't enough! Especially with the night sweats!
Everything is a phase, the good and bad so embrace the good and breathe through the bad I also try and remind myself, like when on a plane, put on your own mask first! Look after yourself then you can only look after others
You are the expert of your own situation
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Take a day at a time and keep breathing
Let the dishes go. Get some fucking sleep.
I’m not a mum yet but loving these comments. One thing Ive learnt from pregnancy is to trust yourself, and go easy on yourself too - you’re doing so much!
Give yourself grace, sink into the moment
Don’t be afraid or shame to ask for help. Babies are a lot of work. Follow your mommy’s instincts.
Take a class on basic baby things so you are not overwhelmed when they are born
Breast feeding isn’t always easy don’t feel like your doing anything wrong if your baby doesn’t seem to take to it post partum depression is serious your a good mom it’s worth trying
Your boundaries only sound harsh to those that won’t respect them - for anyone struggling with overstepping family that disagrees with your boundaries when it comes to baby
Don’t listen to horror stories , it’s not all bad! I love motherhood
You know your baby best , ignore everyone else
Take any help that is offered and only you know your baby ❤️
Don’t be so hard on yourself
Postnatal depression is a illness, if you suffer it is NOT YOUR FAULT, but you should ask help as soon as possible because you deserve it.
I don’t think anyone warns you how much it will change your relationship. They’ll be times where you’ll think your relationship is over and that is all normal!
Also, don't feel you are a failure if you end up not breastfeeding, not doing baby led weaning, have to sleep with baby to make him sleep, use a dummy, use TV earlier than you wanted to, etc... We are all pushed to be the perfect mothers sometime to a point where if we didn't managed to do what is perceived to be the best thing for our baby, then that means we are a failure. That's not true! Sometimes you need to pick your battles and if that means you need to use a dummy to sooth your baby or put the TV on to have a break, that is allright. As long you follow all suggestions regarding safety and health as much as possible, then everything else is just down to personal choices.
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All of the fears and anxiety and thoughts are totally normal
Do what works for you and your family ❤️ every baby is different
Motherhood a huge life change, so much bigger than you can imagine and prepare for. If you do find it a tough transition, i promise it gets it easier and so enjoyable once you’ve settled into being a mum! Trust your gut, you know your baby best. Having a baby is the most amazing thing, soak in all the small moments 💕
It’s ok if you don’t enjoy every minute of it, it doesn’t mean you love your baby less or you’re a bad mother, it just means you’re human
If all of the options/ways of doing things are overwhelming, remember that it means different methods work, so your way is probably okay. If multiple ways are safe, then it all comes down to preferences, yours and baby’s.
You cannot sleep when the baby sleeps 😊 that’s a myth! So listen to all this “advice” people give and keep the humour alive. It’s only humour and your baby’s smile that will get you through and it’s worth it
When you make boundaries stick to them. If you don’t everyone will try to run you over.
Don't be afraid to ask for a bit of help. Friends/family are only a call away
My mother in law to be told us this "Be gracious to yourself and eachother" it has been my mantra every day.
•Be open minded when it comes to feeding the baby. You never know how things will go PP. •Your mental health is top priority. Over the baby’s, over your partner’s, it’s yours. •Snuggle if you want to, but it’s also ok to let the baby sleep in their own space while you rest or scroll. •You can do this. Your body is capable of doing hard things!
Remember to give yourself grace! You are LEARNING. It will take months before you have the majority figured out, and even after you still have no idea what you’re doing sometimes! You’ll mess up and that’s completely fine! Your baby doesn’t know you messed up and they love you more then anything. You’re all they know. And also FED is best! Don’t pressure yourself to bf. If it doesn’t work that is COMPLETELY FINE! It won’t make a difference which you use as long as their tummy is full and happy! Don’t let anyone pressure you to do one or the other. Do what works for YOU.
Sometimes it’s ok to put yourself first ♥️
Don’t be hard on yourself. Your doing amazing. Don’t ever forget that. Enjoy every moment (even the bad ones) because they will be gone sooner than you want. Soak in every moment you have with your little one. You only have a newborn for a short while. Enjoy it. Everything else will wait xx
Being stressed about sleep is worse than just being tired. Stop looking at the clock and find other ways to rest/ refresh if you can’t nap- lying down for 10 minutes, getting fresh air, having a cup of tea etc - my motto is ‘they have to sleep eventually so I will sleep eventually!’
All babies are different, don’t follow outside advice to T. Find what works for you & your baby
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It’s only a bad habit if it doesn’t work for YOU!
You will never be the same again. The old you will forever be gone. To be replaced by the new you- one that is full of love and patience and tenderness. You will speak loving words to your baby; remember to speak loving words to yourself too.
Talking to other Mums/parents helped immensely. We’re all going through similar things. Having a daily phone call with someone helped pass the time on solo parenting days Going out for a daily walk and timing it (hopefully) with baby’s naps was always a great way to get some alone time and quiet time once he fell asleep. Good way to reset us all (dog included as he got alone time at home for a nap!) Take everything you read with a pinch of salt. If it’s causing stress, forget it. You know everything (about your baby) and you also know nothing (about your baby). Spend time getting to know them, when they are sleepy enough to go for a nap, which may be different to when they are just sleepy but awake. Then chuck that info out the window if baby does something different at the next nap 😹 they throw you curveballs all the time!
Don’t stress about contact naps or where they nap. Do whichever and wherever will give you the least stress at that particular point in the day. One day they won’t need your help to nap at all.
There is no one right way for you to be a mom. I would encourage you to find the way that feels best to your heart and is the best fit for your family. Let go of the social constructs of being a “perfect mom” and be gentle with yourself the journey of motherhood. And when you can, prioritize napping over doing dishes.
Embrace every moment as they grow up in a heart beat ❤️