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last month

Postpartum and marriage

Hi ladies, im 3 days postpartum, just got home today and me and my husband argued for the first time after baby got here (a little too soon) i tried to have a conversation with him about him being gentle with the baby, his tone of voice seems like he is yelling even if he is not. I told him yesterday to be more gentle talking to the baby and got upset. Today he seemed too exticed and is also being very loud around the baby even the way he says his name when baby is crying. I know i might be just upset with the hormones but i asked him nicely and now he says im being over protecting. He got mad and raised his tone, i kept asking to lower his voice so we can talk about it and all he says is im wrong and he should be able to bond with the baby how ever he thinks is correct. I told him im not saying he is doing it wrong it just upsets me he's not being gentle. Also i try to redirect him if i see he is not doing some correct with the baby(holding his head, not burping, changing him in the cold living room all naked at once) i want him to do things with the baby and at the same time learn, i try to be very nice in how i say it but he does not want to listen to me. Please help me😔 i really want us to be ok and parent correctly..
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last month

My husbands whole demeanor changed on Tuesday after my baby was born and it kind of caught me off guard because I’m extra sensitive now and crying over little things but we made a promise last night (our first night home) that at the end of each day we would sit and talk about our day and how we felt and what we learned and make sure to communicate with each other daily. Today has gone really great actually! We are first time parents and have been together 7 years so it was a shock to see a new man but also I think I’m a new woman too and communication is so important right now! Good luck!

last month

If he isn't putting the baby in danger, let him do his own way. He needs to LEARN how to be a dad, we usually have it easier because of mother instincts, but it's harder for them. Don't lecture him about something, just try and give a brief explanation on how you do it, and suggest if he doesn't have his way of doing X yet, he can copy until he gets the hang of it. Be a partner and support him.

last month

I agree your way is not the only way as mothers we tend to have control issues and want everything done our way but if he’s seriously not harming the baby you can’t expect him to parent the way you parent

last month

Are you complimenting what he's doing well? Balance can help make ppl more receptive

last month

Your way is not the only way to do things . I know you might want things a certain way but changing how your husband naturally is probably isn’t the best way to go about things. And he probably feels like you’re trying to tell him how to be a father . I would see it from his perspective and maybe give it more than 3 days before you try to say he’s doing things incorrectly. You say you try to redirect him that’s a practice we use with my toddler. He probably feels like you’re belittling him which is why he’s getting upset with you. Sounds like you’re mothering him and he’s frustrated. I understand your side but your husband deserves grace and the space to figure out how to be a dad just like you want in figuring out how to be a mother. You wouldn’t want anyone telling you how to speak to your child or make it seem like you’re doing everything wrong . Your husband is no different. And i personally wouldn’t want him to resent me for ruining his time with his baby so I’d give it a rest

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