Made to feel bad not good enough

Before I had my daughter I always said I wasn't going to breastfeed as I didn't think it was for me. However shortly after Emily was born I was asked did I want to try so gave it a go. Emily took to it straight away. She seemed to be feeding ok for the first couple of days but then seem to become sleepy and not taking as much. The nurses were brilliant and explained that as I had lost a lot of blood after giving birth both our bodies were playing catch up. As she wasn't feeding and lost some weight (normal for this to happen) we got kept in for help with feeding. At one point I was worried and was starting to consider formula (both partner and MIL) were saying that if she wasn't feeding and continuing to loss weight then I should consider putting her on formula. I stuck to my guns and continued with breastfeeding and also put an express pump. Got home Tuesday and Emily has put weight back on. I haven't been expressing as much as I was in hospital but wee lady is feeding ok from breast. My partner However mention last night (after gping out into Gkasgow to get hus phone mixed then obviously spending time goung around the shops and having a pint, he came home seen i was sleeping then went stright back out to go.to the pub we had words and he ended up going to his mums) that if am not expressing as much then when it comes to social events then I am going to have to take her everywhere with me then straight away he mentioned but moving her on to formula. I get the feeling his mum has been chewing his ear off about and again suggested putting wee one on formula. His mother has been nothing coming across and wanting to take control of everything Like my daughter is only over a week old we got out Tuesday afternoon and already on the Wednesday she was suggesting we go down to.hers to stay for a couple of days so I could focus on Emily and me (which I understand and appreciate) but we haven't had time to settle in at home and already she is wanting us down at hers. Also my partner and his mum took Emily for a walk on Wednesday which Is fine but decided to take her into a coffee shop and around a supermarket like wtf she only a week old it's about 6 weeks before they advise you do anything like that. Sorry for rant but has anyone else had this situation happen with them? Would really appreciate all help and advice xxx

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You poor soul. Only advise I can give you is smile and nod, do what you want and what feels right for both of you. Try not to stress over people opinions breath through the drama and best of all just close your door x

It’s sad that they are being so inconsiderate. I have experienced a little of possessiveness for my baby by family members but to be honest MOM inside me woke up and straight away said back off. I tried explaining first and sending some YouTube links and blogs to my family members helped. But at the EOD it’s your baby and you need to do what’s right. DO not worry about anything at all, you have to let go and keep yourself sane and enjoy your motherhood ❤️ . If possible sit with your husband and make him understand that you want to enjoy motherhood and create a bond that’s only beneficial for a baby.

Good job in being able to breastfeed. If you can do it it has so many benefits for you and your baby. Why anyone would try force you to change from that I do not know. Ask your partner if he would prefer his baby didn’t get the health benefits and list some to him. I’d kindly tell his mum to back off too. Her generation doesn’t understand the benefits to breastfeeding so it’s common for them to talk about formula. Breastfeeding is way more than just feeding. It’s a special bond between mother and baby. It’s a comfort, pain reliever, and so much more. Do you know if your baby picks up some bacteria your body absorbed it through your nipples, your immune system makes the antibodies to fight it then sends it back to your baby through your milk. It is so so amazing. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Get your health visitor to explain this to your partner at your check up. As for the walk. I would try not worry too much about this. X

If you struggle with supply or never being away from baby in the coming months, you can always combi feed. I did & it worked well. Don't let anyone pressure you into stopping BF if you want to continue. Tell him that his mothers opinion is irrelevant & does HE actually think formula is the best route? The taking her out thing should be fine though. Unless you were specifically told that your baby can't go out socially before 6w (i've never heard that generally) than its fine.Ours was out from days old. Its completely personal prefrence & it is his child too.

Being a mum helped me to learn to stand my ground on my choices. We know our babies best especially when they’re so small people will have opinions but stick with your own opinions and facts xxx

You have to do what is right for you, if you are able to breastfeed that’s great, if you want to give baby formula that’s ok too. I had to give formula at 6wks as baby got a cold and I couldn’t breastfeed and didn’t express enough. I combination fed from then on as it allowed hubby to feed baby at night and I could get some sleep. Find what works for you and your partner, as long as you need to go with the flow, relax and not be sleep deprived and if baby is fed and healthy, try and enjoy this magical time x

I was told one thing from the maternity hospital and it was - Glasgow and west of Scotland older generation women are obsessed with formula and it is a well know fact within the midwifery community that mothers and mother in laws push young new mums on the formula. Please stay strong and if you want and can breastfeed your child then do it. She nor your husband should influence you otherwise. All the best! X

Keep feeding how you feel most comfortable, not how anyone else suggests! You should try your best not to express unless you absolutely must in yeh first 6-8 weeks because your supply needs to regulate to babies needs and adding in pumping can cause oversupply which puts you at more risk of mastitis. I already had an oversupply and ended up in hospital with mastitis a few weeks back after only getting home from another hospital stay for infection. Honestly tell your partner you appreciate his concern but you won’t be going anywhere in the first few weeks without baby anyway and that when your supply regulates then you’ll start expressing incase anyone else has to babysit for a few hours. Congrats on your BF journey - no matter how long you do it for, you’re a rockstar in my eyes for trying it. We managed just shy of 6 weeks and I’ve now been expressing only and topping up with formula. There’s no right or wrong way. But it is always your choice and what feels right for mum&baby x

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