What a lonely time.

I dunno how I have managed the last 8-9 months or soo. Going a bit stir crazy I guess. I am currently on maternity leave until last week of august, I don’t want to really go back to work as I love enjoying family time. I spoke to my hv about not having a social circle or being able to talk openly and having a friend second month of having lb. I suffered with PND the first 5 months with my lb and possibly a few months before having my lb too. My lb is 7 months, I go to group regularly for the last 4 months and I still feel I haven’t got anyone to really talk to. I don’t speak to my family often. (Every month or so) also when I do go to my partners family just for interactions, I always end up looking after my partners niece and the Nan/ aunt are always busy with there bits. I have tried talking to other mummy’s, trying to build relationships with people. I am quite open and genuinely listen to other mummy’s. I just haven’t built any relationships even after asking for numbers and arranging coffee meet ups.. My partner is great at listening. I don’t think he fully understands, he has a great family network. He works 8-6 every day and speaks to a lot of people throughout the day. We have his 2 children over 3 days a week too, which we look after. I never really get adult time and I if I do it genuinely is on my own (gym an hour or 2 a week). I am lonely, I feel I don’t have that safe vent space and felt just left to get on with things. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. I honestly don’t really know what I want out of this but I guess it’s just to express how I feel because I genuinely feel that I can’t voice how I feel as I don’t feel understood.