Cannot afford “lifestyle”

Maybe you can get some free stuff for the baby on a Facebook Buy Nothing group. Good luck

@Samantha thank you💙

Hi love! I was in the same boat, not being taught certain things about money...which is hilarious because my mum worked in a bank🤣🤣 Things have changed lol. If you're serious about wanting to make some changes you should pm me. I'd love to chat.

Download the app ‘Olio’ people are always giving away free baby items on there. There is also a free food section, which will help top up your food shop. You might also be able to find something nice for yourself

Having a baby is defo expensive hun. I got a lot of second hand/free bits from Facebook marketplace/friends etc. could you have a very low-key/cheap/free baby shower? That’s another way to get the bits your missing. The above advice is exactly what I would say so I don’t have anything to add. But you should be entitled to the maternity grant, child benefit etc. I hope you get it sorted but my inbox is always open if needed.

@Ioana Emma’s diary (app) Bounty (app) both do baby bags. Emma’s diary you can collect from Boots or Argos. Bounty is Tesco if I remember. Also, if you register online with Pampers you can request nappy coupons 🥰 I recently got £44 worth of Pampers for free (we use pampers at night)

Might sound silly, but whilst you are home why don't you try to do some surveys? Referrals? It's not big money but might be that little extra that helps. I have done a few, message me if you want the names of the apps I use!

I’m in the same situation as you. Almost😭😭😭😭

@Shiv where did you get the freebies from?

Seems like the first thing you could do is move in with your boyfriend if you haven’t yet or ask him to pay for a larger portion of rent so instead of 50/50 make it 70/30 or something like that. Not to mention finances should be proportional to income, so if he makes more he should be contributing more. You both need to sit down, go over every single outgoing, see where you can cut, and do it. Your boyfriend needs to step up. What are these “outgoings” anyway?

I would definitely suggest looking at facebook market for a cot/moses basket etc. i don't want to concern you but your health visitor will come to look around your house before baby is born to see where they are sleeping etc. If you sign up to pampers you can get vouchers for free nappies, we do this.

Have you thought about moving back with family, whether that be your bf’s or your own? If you’re using all your money now, you won’t be able to afford the baby, so moving back with someone’s family will allow you to eliminate or reduce the cost of shelter and use that money towards the babies necessities. Do you have a car seat? You will need that before leaving the hospital

Felt asf

… come out a few minutes early each time, it really does make a difference. Please feel free to reach out any time if you need support. You’re not alone in this❤️

In terms of your financials, I would highly recommend you and your partner look at changing your banks to something like Monzo so you can heavily track your spending (if you haven’t already); it’s really important to know where every penny is being spent in these situations. Re things for baby, you can find an amazing amount online for free; I’d try out these sites and look daily as they’ll go fast: Gumtree, Freecycle, FB Marketplace. You can get baby clothes from Vinted for next to nothing as well. I know you’re not keen on breastfeeding but if I were in your shoes, I’d give it a good go first and then if you chose to move over to formula, at least you know you tried. I’d recommend thinking about using food banks because then the money you ‘save’ from not buying food you can use elsewhere. Look up what appliances use the most energy and try to limit using them eg. Swap using an oven for a microwave as ovens use a lot of energy. Showers use a lot of energy as well so even if you…

If you'd like to drop me a PM I've got a next to me I don't mind sending your way

Try Facebook free cycle pages ano lots of people advertise baby bits for free :)

That’s frustrating 😕 don’t feel bad about that, nobody gives you a manual or instructions on how to do this. Most first time mums are winging it and trying their best! Pregnancy alone is hard enough, never mind all the prep and expense that comes along with it. More than happy to help! I’ll leave my email address here and you can email me your address details if you want 😊 siobhanmackay31@yahoo.co.uk

Hey, have you reached out to community mom groups or churches?

@Shiv I haven’t had much luck on the free samples front - every boots near me I go into doesn’t stock the bump to baby packs despite saying they do! As for events I definitely need to look at some. For some reason I thought you could only go if you’re buying stuff (silly I know 😭). I feel sooo unprepared because I feel like I’m learning about what’s available to me so late in pregnancy. As for your offer, that’s honestly the sweetest thing someone has said to me on this app. I would really appreciate the help. I live in London :)

I’ve got some doubles of freebies I’d be happy to send you in the post? There’s a pack of newborn nappies, a pack of wipes, 3 MAM newborn bottles I’m not going to use and a couple of other bits. As long as your UK based?

Are you taking advantage of the free samples? We’ll mostly free, I think for most you either need a voucher or pay a small fee to receive packs of various items for babies. Are there any local baby shows/events coming up? There are often stalls at these events where you get free wipes/nappies toiletries etc.

@Tammie everyone is entitled to child benefit but not the maternity grant and healthy start vouchers, but I would think being on UC would entitle you. I tried to apply to maternity grant as this is my first baby but you also need to be reviving certain benefits to qualify for it unfortunately x

We live up north which rent is much cheaper, we pay £575 per month for a 3 bedroom house, we also bought almost everything second hand, Facebook marketplace have plenty of cheap or even free stuff that looks in great condition x

@Marta so my landlord is actually okay with it but she’s increasing the rent. I’ve suggested moving out of London so many times and we were actually going to do it until we realised no family would be around to help us with childcare. So many factors against me right now unfortunately. I love that your landlord let you do that though!

@Tammie I guess the only thing stopping me now is the lack of a printer for this form! I’m gonna get it sorted and hopefully I’ll get it. Thank you so much

If you in 1 bed your landlord might not be pleased to hear about baby cos of overcrowding his property. My old one let me live off my deposit then cos of that reason as he said to me I have to move out due to overcrowding ethier on my own or with section. I saved up that 1.5 months rent up cos I didn't have to pay 1 month at all and that is how I paid deposit for new house. I moved on the end of my maternity many miles so house move was difficult but worth it in the end. Have you tried council at all? They might help with housing but if on application you will put you wish to relocate as sometimes where ppl want to live councils are packed and then they have no housing. My friend lives in north of England and tbf she have 3 bed for just under 300 pounds... you probably won t have to go that far but worth a trip to town Hall for advice.

I had a look online n the only criteria you need to meet, is that it's your first baby, or twins, and be on a qualifying benefit, which UC is. So I can't see why you wouldn't get it. X

@Marta thank you. Already in a 1 bed so can’t downsize and can’t afford the deposit for anywhere cheaper! I’ll have to have a look around my area - just feels like such a dehumanising experience. I would always encourage people to do the same but now I’m in the same situation I genuinely can empathise with how horrible it all feels. And I agree with the last part!

@Tammie I thought so too! Apparently I can appeal it but I don’t know where to start. Is there anything that might cause me not to get the maternity grant if you know at all? Like my partners income maybe x

@Nicole oh babe. it’s so hard isn’t it? I feel so ashamed to be in this position (even though I know I shouldn’t be - anyone’s situation can change at any moment). Can’t even afford a grocery shop for myself and I’ve got a baby coming 🙁 I’ll defo be looking at some local groups on marketplaces and what not. Just wish I had disposable income

For baby items you can ask local health visitor as well for something called baby banks some charities runs them and they have clothes nappies and baby essentials but you have to be rly without money to be eligible to use them. When using food bank you can come to food bank with money for bills but you need a proof that is just for that like last month statement that your rent is due in 2-3 days for example. Hope life will get better for you but long term try to find solutions cos cost of childcare to go to work is sometimes more than what is worth going there for and kids get more expensive when they get older...

@Daisy thank you! It takes so much to finally speak to people and ask for help. I did speak to people (UC, food banks. Will try my health visitors soon though) and it’s almost as if I wasn’t “broke enough” to get help! I had to prove I didn’t have money in order to get food vouchers but there was money in my account for rent 😐

Honestly you took the words right out of my mouth. I’m going through the same thing and I feel so overwhelmed thinking about everything. Worse off I’m not entitled to any public funds such as child benefits or UC. I’ve literally bought two or three outfits for baby and absolutely nothing else 😭😭. It makes me so sad. Some of the moms on here suggested getting things from local freecycle groups or charities. I’m here if you need to talk or dash around ideas xx

Oh? I thought all mums were entitled to them, until baby is of a certain age, I think you have to apply after 10 weeks of pregnancy. I'd definitely try again? Maternity grant is so helpful, fingers crossed you get that! Once your UC is sorted, you should have an entitlement x

@Elle thank you so much. Do you know any specific ones or do I just kinda have a browse? (Don’t use Facebook a lot) x

@Tammie I tried applying to the healthy start thing - it declined me straight away and I didn’t even give info like that! Maternity grant is something I’m looking at - just worried it’ll get declined too 🥲

Midwife will not let you off without a cot or mosses basket. With expenses were you thinking of moving somewhere less expensive? When I had my kids I was living in Southampton when 2 kids come we had to buy formula and food on credit card due to high cost of living and that was before crisis with cost of living. Then we moved to small town in Warwickshire even when I broke up with my ex and had to give up job I was able to afford living due to difference in cost of living. My rent used to be 650 without bills for 1 bed flat in Southampton before I moved to Warwickshire small town and I paid 545 for 2 bed house. Every single bill after then was less like gas electricity and water.

Speak with your health visitors they should be able to signpost you to local charities or make referrals to get you essentials for the baby xx

If you’re struggling there are lots of groups on Facebook that will gift/donate items so I would look on there. We’ve gifted sofas and things before but I also see baby items being gifted!

Child benefit will start once your baby is born, healthy start vouchers, maternity grant if you haven't had that yet. Sorry I don't have alot of advice but I hope things get better, UC will also increase if it's your first or second child x

Your boyfriend needs to do more.