How would you respond?
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No means no!
Just say exactly that ? I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just explain ? 😅
"Unfortunately, MIL, we won't be able to attend. But we hope y'all have a wonderful time and would love to take BIL out for lunch/dinner one day next week." (Or send a gift or whatever alternative works for you.)
I’d tell her that y’all can’t attend the party but sometime earlier or later that week (within a week of his bday) y’all will visit him
@Marina that's that then, they can accept it or not, dont worry yourself about it x Family can be so difficult lol X
@emmi my husband said he's not going it would be a waist.of a trip!
It's a pretty big birthday If you husband wants to go let him, you can't because of the kids but that doesn't mean he shouldn't go if he wants to. If he starts work early he will just have to leave early or go to work tired. Everything is always late with my father in law but my kids dont mind if they are up late and it doesn't ruin their moods or routine but you know your kids better then anyone so if it's going to upset them 100% don't go.
@Shelley I told her !!
@Jackie that is exactly what happened!!
@Sara I told her the days my husband is off and it's not good enough
@Sarah thank you!!!!
@Alia facts!
@Bree my husband said no he's married. Of his family can't be there he won't be !
@Monét non stop she will message about it. She's not going to our daughters first birthday! So wtf. . . . Why is she making it a big deal about her son's birthday and we can't make a big deal about our daughters
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@Karen no that would be a waist of a trip. It's an hour away.
Personally if my LO was ever invited to a party that late at 12-15 years old, I would have us leave at 8pm at the latest or not attend at all. 11pm is way too late in my opinion honeatly. I would just inform that the party is unfortunately too late for your family to attend and leave it at that.
Next time the response could be, “that won’t work for us, unfortunately”. And make plans to see your BIL another day. I don’t give details. It opens the door for their “suggestions”.
Say no but you'll come down as a family to see the birthday boy some other day that works for everyone.
I definitely wouldn't take 3 kids an hour away that close to bedtime. You already explained that to her, and she just has to accept it. Also, does a 13 year old boy really want toddlers at the party? Let your husband make his own decision, he knows what time he has to get up. But driving 2+ hours for a party, just to pop in for an hour or so to ensure he's back home at a decent time, is kind of a waste of time and gas 🥴
I would just say husband is a grown man, he can decide himself if he wants to go or not and he can let her know. Then you can voice your concerns with your husband and he can make his choice ☺️
Tell her no, it’s not a good time and doesn’t work for our schedule. Period 😭 why do you need to explain yourself
My son is nearly 14 and that seems quite late for a party unless it’s a concert or something. It seems like something you’d do with friends more than family. Can you take part for some of it and go home early. She’d be able to do the mini golf just not seriously. It’s just the Go karts but seems like your 6 year old would do it.
Good good! It’s a hard conversation to have! Honestly my fiancé and I still have this conversation sometimes. A conversation is still progress!
@Ashley same. I sent him a message ! I told him I needed him to back me as my husband ! And told him how I felt
@Sierra I'm going to message back. And I'll be like this decision is up to Kevin. But for me to get excluded is wrong. She's okay with leaving all the kids home with me constantly. I'm tired of getting treated like dirt.
@Brittany my daughter would want to go. She's 6. She has ADHD. It's so frustrating!
I wouldn’t take the two year old but I also wouldn’t answer for your husband I would let him decide what he is comfortable with/ wants to do
I can totally understand your frustration!! My fiancé is not good at standing up to his family. We have run into a lot of issues because of it. He needs to be your partner, you guys are a team. I guess it’s easy to say these things because i understand that struggle and know what i wish would happen most of the time in regards to these situations.
You have explained why you can’t go if she doesn’t want to listen then it’s her problem not yours. In regards to your husband, it’s his family, he can decide if he wants to go alone knowing he has work. You can’t really stop him as he is an adult but you don’t need to disturb your kids routine x
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@Ashley I'm so frustrated. She already don't like me. I get treated so wrong. My husband don't see it. He really don't. I get left out like no other. I'm tired of it. I'm fed up with it.
I would set your boundary if your husband also backs you up it makes it easier on you. Be like i understand you’d really like us to be there but it’s just not possible. I had almost the same situation happen. My fiancé missed two birthdays because we had things we had to take care of on the weekend. It was a huge issue and my fiancé had to be like listen i have my own family now and they come first
let husband decide...