Not sure how to feel?

My husband has a history or messaging/ talking to females online behind my back. There was one time that was especially troubling where we were very emotionally distant from each other & I started hanging out/ having feelings for someone else. My husband & I decided together to work through it, that was 2 years ago & we now have an infant daughter. I found out later that he had been messaging quite a few of his Facebook friends (all women) about what I was doing/ how it was affecting him. I kind of let it go bc I felt like I did messed up things @ the time & he needed an outlet. Now that our daughter is here I am having lots of emotions & he is too. We are having a hard time sorting through trauma/ attachment style issues. I recently reached out to one of the women who he was messaging- who he unfriended on fb a while ago bc I kept asking him about her. I told my husband I talked to her & how embarrassed I was- he snuggled me while I cried. Now he’s being cold/ distant & told me he’s upset that I messaged any of those ppl bc he feels like a child & “the grownups had to talk” I didn’t even know what to say- & then he told me he deleted his facebook. Which first of all is sus. Second of all it hurts bc of all the memories/ things we’ve posted throughout the years are now gone if he permanently deleted/ I can’t tag him in pics ( we’re going to my hometown in less than a week) He said he deleted it bc I wouldn’t stop hounding him about it. I feel like in a weird way it was to reassure me? But it feels spiteful.? Idk anyways he’s supposed to come with me to my hometown with our bb to explore/ have fun & I feel like he might be kind of a buzz kill to be perfectly honest. Thank you if you’ve read this far. Am I an asshole? I mean I know I am- but wtf is going on I need help sorting this. 🫶🏼💫