Boyfriend says I’ve ruined his life

We weren’t together when our daughter was born. He didn’t support me during pregnancy and pleaded I had an abortion. He left his job and had ‘a break down’ however when she was born he moved him with us. The problem is every so often he goes on mad benders and says I ruined his life. This evening has been particularly bad, called me all sorts of names and stormed off. Didn’t come home the other night either. Before you say leave him I don’t want to co parent. I don’t earn enough £ and I want my daughter to have a secure family unit. I don’t to know what to do. Thanks for reading
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I am really sorry that your going through this however I’m not sure what can really be done in this situation.. have you spoke to him about why he says these things? Have you tried counselling

@Ellie yes but he will not talk, simply shuts down. Or storms off again when in this state. Thanks for commenting x

Unfortunately I'm not sure there's a lot you can do if you're determined to stay with him. He obviously has bigger issues that need a professional to support him through but that would require him acknowledging he's in the wrong/needs help with his behaviour. I think it's interesting you say you want your daughter to have stability but are actively staying in an environment that is unpredictable and unstable.

@Jade hi jade, I just want a fairytale family you could say but I guess the writings on the wall isn’t it. You’ve made some very valid comments. What would you do? X

I don't think wanting that is wrong - but you also know you don't deserve to be shouted at/talked to/treated like this either. I guess at some point you have to set the boundary - either he seeks help and changes, or he moves out and you have to work on building your life for you and your daughter to thrive.

❤️ thank you

Ask yourself the question ‘if I was well off financially, would I still stay with him?’ And if the answer is no, then I think you know that it’s not him that you want but ‘someone’ to be that family unit with you,and what he’s currently providing is purely financial.You deserve more than this. You will be entitled to some benefits if alone (in UK anyway) and he will have to pay child support. You’ll manage. Regardless, children pick up on things and you can’t fake a happy relationship forever mama. Wishing you luck in whatever you decide

Psh I'd beat the shit out of him.

I’m really sorry you’re going through that. I understand you want a secure family unit but you can absolutely have that without him. It may be a lot worse for your little one to be around someone like that who actively shows he didn’t want them and behaves in that way- let alone the emotional hurt it must cause you which they can pick up on! Only you know what to do for the best but I think you know what you should do and even if it’s scary financially. If you are unhappy, you will find a way to get by without him. Sending love ❤️

You may not want to co parent But your child shouldn't have to be raised in the middle of a toxic relationship through their lives because their voice ain't as loud as yours.

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