Incognito
Incognito
4 days ago

Scared to date

So I came out of an extremely traumatizing relationship about 6 months ago after 4 1/2 years together. I had sworn off dating, male friendships and anything to do with men. I've recently met this guy who seems like he has his head on right but he did just end a long-term relationship and they share a 1 month old. He's offering to do for me and asking if I need anything but im hesitant to accept anything from him. Am I wrong for feeling this is too risky and to back away completely?! I told him I want to give him the space to go back to her and figure that out. He said he's not going back because things had been toxic and she'd had her addiction issues e.t.c so he's choosing to co-parent and choose better for himself and love himself more than staying in a relationship like that. I also asked why he didn't figure that out before impregnating her. He said he thought things would improve and also asked why I didn't figure out my boys dad wasn't right after our first child together. I told him the same, it was stupidity honestly and also thinking it would get better. He seems like a great guy but I just want to allow him the adequate time to see if he really doesn't want to work things out with her and fix his family. I'd be devastated to start building something with him and then one day he tells me, he's going to go try to make things work with his babymama. Is it my trauma and own experience that's making me project onto him or should I run and never speak to him again?
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3 days ago

@👑Jess👑 definitely agree! I've been enjoying the single stress free life after all the hell I went through with my boys dad.

3 days ago

You both might need to slow down. You since you just got out of a relationship, and him bc he just had a baby. It's cool to be single, and he needs to learn that too, instead of rushing to be with the next woman.

4 days ago

@Rosa how did it turn out for you? I definitely need more time to heal. I am keeping him in the friend category for sure because I think he's a great guy.

4 days ago

@Ashley that's definitely my thinking. He needs to figure fatherhood out before he tries to start something new. I'm cool with just being friends because I'm definitely not ready for anything serious.

4 days ago

Girl I was in the same situation as you. Give both of yourselves time. You need healing and he needs to find himself. I just keep it as friendship for now and maybe later down the line some dates to see where it leads yall. But for now just friends. Don't be afraid to explain that to him. If he's into you he will be willing to wait for both of yall to be ready.

4 days ago

Yea... i think i would pass on this. That baby is too young. Even if he does only want to coparent with her... i think his time and energy should be focused on figuring that out before starting something with you

4 days ago

Baby is too young I agree with you

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