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last month

Is it me or her?

I am going back to work soon and my MIL has offered to have baby for me. I really just don’t feel comfortable with it and I don’t know why. Well I guess I kinda have some reasons but is this a me problem am I being overly sensitive here? First of all she has absolutely nothing for baby at her house not even so much as a pack of baby wipes she has literally nothing there for her. I keep sending her messages saying oh I’ve just seen X for sale in the charity shop it would be useful to have at your house but she doesn’t reply to me. My own mum has bought pretty much everything a baby would need to keep at her house so when I go to visit now I don’t really need to take anything other than her clothes. I also feel like she doesn’t even really know my baby very well, despite only living a very very short walk away she only sees her about once every 2 weeks and I never speak to her in between that, well sometimes I text her but she doesn’t reply to me. I have found her to be quite disrespectful to me in the past as I was planning a home birth and she was so against it she made it quite clear. I didn’t end up having a home birth which she was very happy about. Also, when baby was newborn I asked her to come over to look after baby in my house (I made the in MY house but very clear) as I wanted to clean we arranged a time and then when the time came she rang me said right im coming over now but I’m taking baby back to my house with me and I said no you’re not she’s literally 3 weeks old she’s not going anywhere and so she never came round. I’ve never asked her to look after her since as I just feel like she will try to take her away from me. I could go on and on about things but I guess I don’t particularly get on with her but am I being overly sensitive with it and I should just let her have baby when I go back to work? I am self employed so I can take baby to work with me it’ll just be more stressful
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last month

She will continue to cross boundaries if you let it slide with Little things

last month

Thanks everyone..you’re all right I’m definitely not comfortable with her having her so I think I will try and make it work with taking baby to work and if it becomes too stressful then I’ll have to re think but hopefully it’ll be ok (I’m a dog walker)

last month

@Carlene Langley This is something I’m worried about!!

last month

@Amy I know I’m so torn. Work would be much less stressful without baby and I would get done much quicker

last month

I wouldn’t let her babysit when she doesn’t even text you back . What if your at work and hear no updates for a whole shift ? I’d lose my mind.

last month

In my opinion she should be doing all she can to accommodate you and baby right now. If she’s not showing that she’s willing to do so, then she hasn’t earned the right to your trust.

last month

If you already feel uncomfortable thinking about it, then just imagine how stressed you would be actually leaving your LO with your MIL. If you don't absolutely have to, I see no reason to let MIL watch. It's awful that she was so unsupportive of your birth plan - she should have no say in that. And then she had the audacity to tell you she was taking your 3w old baby when you invited her over... No. You've listed many valid reasons to feel uncomfortable. Stick with your gut.

last month

Okay I can feel ur struggle with mil reading this … I don’t think ur being overly sensitive , if I was you with all of this I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my child with her to babysit . Plus she don’t even try to see ur baby and doesn’t even know her that well like you say so that adds to it , I wouldn’t keep texting her either tbh if she’s ignoring ur messages over n over like that

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