Incognito
Incognito
last month

Sensitive or not

Trigger warning*** So I’ve lost a lot of weight this past year, very toned and worked so hard with my weight lifting etc.. I’m lean but muscular but not crazy.. My spouse calls me name when he’s mad all the time and he always has.. he has called me a “fat b*tch” a few times which I know he is just trying to hurt me but it does bother me only because I’m coping wi to a ED as well and have had a few people concerned on how small I’ve gotten even though I don’t feel they should be worried. Anyways tonight after a super long day, I was bending over and he comes over.. massages my upper back for maybe 10 seconds if that.. goes “ew your so muscular, it’s like I’m massaging a man”.. I have to let it go because I’m not engaging in his studpity.. but I’ve worked so hard to be where I am, I’m proud of how hard I’ve worked while battling what I have privately.. would that comment annoy you or am I just being sensitive.. it’s like he either puts me down in anger or is constantly asking me for sex.. comments like that don’t make me want to do anything sexually with him.. ever.
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last month

I wouldn’t want to touch him if he were being that critical towards how I look. And you said he’s always said hurtful things like this to you. It’s not okay. I think you’ve allowed it long enough where he feels so confident in treating you that way. Maybe he has his own image issues he has to deal with. But either way- Don’t allow it! I think you’re right for not engaging. But how long will you stay and listen to that shit?

last month

That would definitely warrant a talk. Maybe he's insecure that you're more muscular than him, but whatever the reason he needs to stop saying hurtful things like that just because he knows it will hurt you. He sounds like a narcissist and toxic.

last month

This seems very much like a manipulation tactic where an abusive partner will consistently work on breaking down their partners self esteem in order to build enough insecurity to make them think that no one else will love/want/find them attractive so they should stay with their abuser. Especially with his regular desire to have sex with you despite making negative and inappropriate statements about your appearance as if it was unattractive to him. This is usually someone who uses abuse to cope with their own insecurity and fears of being left by their partner, but these feelings are not a justification of the abusive behavior and I would highly recommend to reach out to someone you can trust in your life for support if you can. Additionally I would seek out mental health care support as this can be highly beneficial for you throughout this situation and can help you find resources and options to leave the situation should you need help. Hoping the best for you. ❤️

last month

Yes he is being emotionally abusive. He's trying to belittle you to make you think there's something wrong with you and he's doing so by weaponising your ED / issues with body image . He sounds incredibly manipulative and calculating and straight up horrible. You deserve better x

last month

100% inappropriate. Verbal abuse is still abuse, please don't take it!

last month

Wow he's something 😑

last month

@Steph I felt like it was really rude.. there’s no winning.. when he’s mad he puts me down.. then when he’s fine he’ll say how I’m getting too skinny, I look like a bean pole.. how people are concerned but then makes comment like this tonight. It’s just never enough.. yet is constantly asking for sex because I just am not interested in it.

last month

No you’re not being sensitive. That’s just straight up mean and abusive language.

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