I need to vent
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Yes men are more direct. Sometimes it's as simple as asking. Honestly your husband sounds difficult but just try asking. Also my husband likes to live up to the men he respects like his brother and father so when he thinks about how they treat their women it make my husband try harder lol.
I agree with what Joan says, men literally don’t see problems unless you tell/ask them - i know from experience haha
Hi Jennifer, I read your post and my Life Coach brain kicked in, so I wanted to offer the things that came up for me. - When you’re talking to your partner about these things, what emotion is fueling the conversation for you? - When that emotion is fueling your conversations, how do you show up in those conversations? - How can you come to the conversations with neutral emotions so the conversation can be more productive? - What expectations do you have of your partner? - How does he know to meet these expectations? - If he chooses not to meet your expectations, what are you making it mean? - What are the things you love about your partner? - What can you appreciate about him today? The last two are a practice to get your mind to focus on the good things. Your relationship will have ups and downs, all relationships do. You can only choose how you show up. If you aren’t willing to ask for help, how is it fair to hold it against him if he doesn’t help? Sometimes it’s easy ❤️
Men can be like this sometimes you gotta tell them "hey I'm going to take a shower I want you to have one on one with your child" or " can you please help me with this chore my back/feet is hurting really badly right now and I need to rest" pretty much make him involved, sometimes you gotta give him options like a toddler "you can either do this or that" I know it seems weird but it works, I would also sit down with him and have a serious talk about how he should take care of his child while your busy doing something, it takes two to tango to make those kids, you always got to remind him to do that thing as well, maybe suggest no phone time at a certain time so your family can have family time an do stuff together even if it's something simple like watching a Disney movie or little projects anything really, yes you gotta plan it or have it one day he plans it when he's off of work
Just let him read this post
Does it help to tell him? Like I need you to do the dishes or when can you do the dishes today? I’m going for a shower will you watch our son and pick him up if he cries otherwise I cannot relax taking a shower. Because you are not asking him if he wants to do it but you’re asking him when he will do it. There is not option or choice. Maybe that helps? I ask because my husband doesn’t see chores or things that need to be done. It’s very annoying but now I just tell him what I want him to do and he does it or tells me in what time frame he can/will do it.
@Ambber 💯 what she said^^ it may not look or sound easy to do, but sometimes leaving/splitting up is the best thing to do for everyone but especially yourself. You shouldn’t have to beg for a basic need or desire you have of your partner. Splitting up and knowing you deserve better is very freeing once you emotionally heal from the negligence.
If he hasn't changed already and doesn't get it, then the question you need to ask yourself is how much longer do you want to keep putting up with this shit show? Since there's kids involved, kids are like a walking radar and know what's going on. They may not understand the reason why it's happening. It's not good being stressed out when you're pregnant either. We are going to put him on the back burner and focus on you. This may be a red flag to make some changes on whether you stay or move on.
Unfortunately it probably won't get better once baby #2 is here. It'll be hard but I'd get out while you can. You and your babies deserve better.
Hes not going to change. Don't marry him. I think you need to try to stay calm, which I know is hard, but u need to tell him he needs to sort himself out of ur gonna take the kids and leave. And you need to tell him what u need. He needs to be making his own lunch for a start hun, ur his partner, not his mommy or his maid. He needs to parent his own kids, and not just when it suits him but all the time. And he needs to realise ur literally growing a human he put there and therefore u need to be taken care of too. But you can't expect him to read your mind, he is only human unfortunately, you need to make sure you tell him what you want.