Not a sob story, just seeing if anyone else is going through the same

Hey, we found out at our 12 week scan our baby has gastrochsis which is when the baby has a small hole in its tummy and the bowels are growing on the outside. So our baby will need surgery when he’s born. We have sort of come to terms with this as we get 4 weekly scans and have stayed pretty positive about everything. Yesterday I had a check in scan and they have said the baby is measuring at 22 weeks and I am 25 weeks tomorrow. So the baby is not growing at the rate it should be. They have scheduled another scan for next week to see if the weight is going up. They also suggested doing a chromosome test to see if it is a genetic problem with the baby. Which comes with risks in itself. They did say that the baby could just be a smaller baby but she then followed up with she is going to check in with other consultants and specialists. I can’t lie I had a really big melt down yesterday. I asked if there’s anything I could do and my response was basically no. If I ate more the baby would only take what is needed from me and I’d just gain weight. So I guess I just came on here to see if anyone else is going through anything similar. I just feel sad and guilty and like my body is failing me and our baby. The support is getting from work is shocking, still had no risk assessment and I obviously have a high risk pregnancy. My family is very supportive but my mum is smothering. My boyfriend is great but I feel like he just doesn’t know what to say because he feels the same, just all over the place. I know they’re doing everything they can but I’m not sure how much more I can take.
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You already have a great reply above but I also just wanted to offer my support as you’re clearly being faced with a tough pregnancy and it’s easy to think you’re the only one and that everyone around you is having a very straightforward experience. I’m really sorry about the issues your little one is facing and I just really hope that the next scan shows some good growth. Have they said how they’ll do the chromosome testing and will they do that at the same appointment? I’m sorry that I’ve not directly had your experience but the one thing I can fully relate to is blaming yourself and your body and I still do this now. I lost our son (first baby) at 26 weeks and although no reason was found I was told it was most likely due to my placenta not working properly. I’ve since had my daughter with no problems at all but mentally her pregnancy was a struggle. I’ve been though lots of therapy and one thing I’ve learned is that we often want to blame ourselves when things don’t go according…

…to plan. This is a really hard thing to reverse and I know because I still do it (blame myself). But it is quite normal. Accepting that things happen outside of our control is very difficult. Is there anything you can do to make yourself feel a bit more in control of things? For me it’s researching things, as then at least I can’t blame myself for not being informed enough. I’m also a planner! So in your situation I would plan what I’d do if the scan was normal vs what to do if it wasn’t, and the same with the genetic testing. I’d also really recommend seeing your midwife or GP if you’re struggling with all this and see if there is a service nearby that offers support to parents in your position. Once again I’m so sorry about your situation and I hope you get some more positive news soon. Please message me if you just need someone to listen 🤗

I suggest if you can get an opinion from london fetal clinic. They are the best in complex cases. Good luck

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