@Bella I think when men started off as “good men “ we marry them and start life women have kids and are put into positions where we trust the man because he’s supposed to be a good man and did everything right when he married you, then life happens, they may find alcohol to cope and the vail starts to fall off . We women still want to believe that man is still good so we give chances to see if they will change because after all marriage is for better or worse. During that time the man may become intimidating to the women when the women tries to stand her ground so instead she may just be quiet for the sake of the kids because 2 people can’t be irrational then the woman starts to see he’s not changing and the women has now fallen more and more out of love and can’t see the people she married that’s when she stands up again this time nothing can shake her. All women are different some may leave right away some may wait to see if the person she married may wake up and realize & Change
Honestly I am convinced as women we are engineered to believe that mistreatment and abuse is acceptable and should be tolerated, this is a no for me the first time I am treated wrong it’s a done deal, I think pattern don’t evolve overnight, we see these behaviors early stages, no amount of advise could convince someone that this is abhorrent behavior the real question I will ask a women is why and what is the real reason you tolerate this behavior. Because if we love ourselves we do not and I mean do Not allow no one to mistreat us. I never respond to what a women says about the man I address the woman and ask why are YOU tolerating this behavior! when a man tells me he loves me . His actions demonstrate that. I don’t live off of words I relate to someone actions and if his actions is not love? Then what are you holding on too.
Good for you girl! So glad you stood your ground! Now the next step if you don’t see improvement is to leave. Life is truly too short to be unhappy!
That's what they do. The lure you back I'm bc it makes it easier to justify their actions when you can say, "well, he's really not bad all the time. He just has his stupid moments". The more you find yourself and apeak up. The nicer and more well behaved he'll get. Once you get comfortable and start trusting him again, he'll start his mess all over again.
@𝕂𝕣𝕪𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕝 At this point I want no man at all !! would rather be by myself and my child.
The way he’s getting so defensive makes me think what is he doing while he’s out? That and that he’s just a complete narcissist. Like someone else already said don’t buy his apologies. He might change for a tiny bit of time and then go right back to how it was. Why waste your life going through these roller coasters with him. You and your child deserve better, and there is better out there. Hell even just being by yourself with just you and your baby it’s better than dealing with somebody like that. I know that everybody situations are different but in my opinion I would say Just leave and get it over with because 9 times out of 10 it’s never going to stop. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Good luck!
@Amber Brigham thank you, he bought flowers before I woke up . I’m still not speaking not to him
@Ashley I do not believe also he bought flowers and wrote a note saying he needs one more chance. It’s so funny how men will not see all those chances now that I’ve had enough he is now asking for one more saying he can do better .
Asshole! You tell him. Don’t tolerate that shit anymore. He needs to grow up.
Women don’t have that, and that is a VERY big deal! Do NOT for a second, believe his apologies! It’ll get better for a little bit, but he’ll get comfortable again and it’ll go right back to the way it was today! PLEASE do NOT do that to yourself, or your child! You both deserve better! <3
Girl, I’ve been there and done that with my oldest sons dad, then recently with my now ex husband. I had enough. Don’t EVER allow yourself to be left in a situation where you are not the priority. Clearly you and your child is NOT a priority either. It’s very sad when men feel they can act this way. I just will never understand. It’s NOT on the mother to be the sole caregiver. Yet, both of my kids dads think it’s my job and my job alone to be the parent. It’s just sad. These guys wanna calm themselves men but yet can’t commit basic adult responsibilities, or pawn them off on their wife/girlfriend/mother of their child. Good for you girl! And yes @Tabby once you get to your point where you’ve had enough, and you WILL get there, you’ll be just fine and you’ll be able to do it! If anyone needs to they can message me! Even just to vent! I’ve done what I can for many women and continue to! Bottom line, I’m proud of you girl for getting the back bone and standing up for yourself! Plenty of
So proud of you! Stand your ground. Demand your respect. He needs to stop living like single fuck boy. He's a married man with a kid and he needs to act it. So way to go you momma for telling him how it is.
@Tabby I think when the time is right you get strength, because my husband reactions usually intimidates and causes me to stay quiet because I just don’t want to cause a bigger deal . But what make me furious is he didn’t care my child was listening. And I never want my kid to grow up and think he should act this way. And it be ok.
I wish I could have the courage to do this with my BD… because same. Thinks he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants and that I am not going to have any kind of reaction to any of it.
I understand you and I sympathize with you and will pray that your situation works out for the best for you, like I said I don’t address what the situation about the man I only want to know what makes you tolerate it, and you said hope.