Am I the A**hole?

I posted about this a while ago, but it's still a topic between my partner and I. Just want to vent. We have been through a lot, my partner and I. We have a 1 year old together too. A few months after I had given birth he would go out every now and again. Eventually I was not okay with it. We've had this conversation over a 100 times. It's not fair that I am already the default parent and do most of the parenting duties. I'm not okay with him going out because: - he takes drugs when he does (techno clubbing which involves ecstasy and he also wants to try acid) - he is out from 8pm to 6am the next morning - I'm not comfortable with the environment (chicks dress inappropriately and keys be honest, clubbing should be done together as a couple) - I never get a break (most I get is a 20 minute nap once in a while) - we MUTUALLY agreed that we are not comfortable with anyone we know babysitting and we don't have the money to hire a sitter - and I'm just not okay with it... If there was anything he wasn't okay with me doing I wouldn't do it. I've told him all my reasons before. He says "I don't get what the issue is if he would just be sleeping during that time anyway" His friends keep tuning me that I'm controlling and that they don't get it either. Clearly because none of them are parents or have been in serious relationships. I feel like I'm a stuck of B for not letting him go... but even just thinking about him going creates a lot of hurt and resentment. I get we had a child while we're young and he's upset he didn't get to have his party years...neither did I and I'm also bloody upset about it. I'm also hurt that I'll never have prebaby self and lack of responsibilities before. But I love my Child. And we both chose to have this life. There are soooooo many years to come for partying...why can't he wait for me? I just really believe partners should do things together...am I wrong? He keeps saying he's depressed that he can't do whatever he wants. He feels trapped....what? Because you can't go out partying all the time? I feel like he says that to make me feel guilty and sorry for him. When was the last time I ever did ANYTHING for myself. I feel like he doesn't care about me enough anymore. It's always about him. Yet he knows I'm struggling with PPD and anxiety...he doesn't bother helping me. Giving me time to myself. Maybe I am in the wrong.. I don't know. But it keeps coming up...and I've just gotten to the point where I'm like just do whatever the f*** you want. I don't care. I don't know what else to say? Thoughts?