Advice please

So, I don't want to tell you what you should do, but here's something to consider: Your mom just found out that her child is pregnant, and she wasn't expecting it. She could just need time to process it. If you choose to keep the baby instead of giving it up for adoption, she will end up loving that baby if yours and her bond is as strong as it seems from what you wrote. Also, the military won't keep the dad away forever. Whether you give it up for adoption or you decide to keep the baby and raise it as your own, I encourage you to speak with the father of the baby. Neither option will be easy, but both have costs and benefits

Why don’t you and the father marry so you and y’all’s could Can go with him?

Child *

@Breanna right , they can surely get married

@Breanna i dont think rushing into a marriage for this reason is the way to go with this... completely up to her and not to say it wouldn't work out, but it seems like a drastic suggestion

My advice would be to take your time. It’s a big, life-altering decision no matter what you choose, so give yourself time and space. Situations like these always seem worse in the moment but get better with time. You wouldn’t have conceived if your body wasn’t ready to bare a child - it’s only society that tells us to have children when we’re older. This is your baby, so you get to decide. Don’t let anyone else influence you. I’m based in Australia, but are there support groups you can reach out to in the US?

@Angel and having a child is not drastic? It’s insane to me how some people trust someone enough to bring life into the world with them but not to marry them..

If you truly want this baby, which it really seems that you do, I wouldn’t go with adoption. I fear that you might regret it in the future. I’ve seen a lot of single women raise their children alone and while it’s very very hard, most don’t regret it. And I’m sure your mom will chip in and help while your boyfriend is gone.

Please don't let anyone else sway what you do. That would be the only mistake. You know what you want. So go with that. You are the one that has to live with it.

No matter what you decide to do, you’re still a good mom. You’re still a good daughter. You’re a human that’s doing her best. Everything will be ok❤️ regardless of what you choose to do, you are an amazing human. I’m sorry I don’t have advice but I’m sending love and a hug your way.

Congratulations!!! People may disagree with me, but I think that’s a pretty normal age to have a baby. That’s about the age my mother had me and my boyfriends mother had him at the same age as you. I just had my first child at 33 years and old and though I feel I’m more ready now than I would have been before and in a good place financially *knocks on wood*, my close friends had their children at your age, one even younger, and with the support of their partners, parents, friends and family, their children turned out amazing and they didn’t have bad lives either. They are successful and live full lives. It’s quite a blessing to be able to grow up with your kids. You’ll still be young when they reach your age now and you can even party together later haha. That’s something I may miss out on with my child because we’ll have more of an age gap. If you think you’ll have the support, I would take the journey. I’m sure your mom will love the baby to pieces. And CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN!!!

Congrats on baby! Yes it is a drastic change for the people acting like its not. Did yall have the insurance talk? I think you need to base your decision partially off of that. Ik in the moment you might just want everyone to be excited for you but since you are a child still i would make sure you are covered for maternity through your moms. If not get married. You have about 60 days to enroll through the husband as a life changing event. Ik with you being younger you might not fully grasp the financial side yet with how you mentioned you didnt need her financially support but girl…i promise you probably will. I had to pay out of pocket for one visit alone while my carrier changed and its about $1500 for a gyno visit without insurance. I definitely don’t agree with abortion (just my personal belief not putting that on anyone) but i would say marry for the benefits even if you need to separate later.

also i just saw how you mentioned a private adoption. I think that would be an amazing choice even though ik that will be insanely hard :/ 💓

I was 19 when I fell pregnant with my oldest daughter though I do love her to bits I honestly wish I would have thought about my decision a bit more I was told that I was never going to be able to have children due to PCOS endometriosis and scaring that I have so I was only thinking about what if this was my only chance if I knew what I knew now and that I was going to be able to have more children I honestly think I would have taken more time in my decision and choose abortion as much as I do love her and she is my world I'll admit being a young mother was and is extremely hard you can't experience learning how to be and adult slowly and at a pace which your comfortable and being able to study/work is harder as you have to be able to drop everything at the drop of a hat if your child becomes sick injured ECT you have to become a full blown adult overnight yes it gets easier as time goes on But you have to be sure is this what you really want children are beautiful joys but also very exhausting

I’m 29. When I told my mom I was pregnant she was shocked and honestly disappointed for the fact I wasn’t married. She needed a good week to really process the news and my whole family said how much she loves babies. She said it would make her feel better if my husband (then boyfriend) and I got married. We wanted to get married anyway so we did and once we said we would it was a complete 180 for her. She loves being a Sweetie (she doesn’t want to be called grandmom lol) and loves my daughter. Your mom just might be in shock

I think that moms are never going to stay mad for long, and in fact they are a true source of unconditional love, so nothing you do can change your relationship and she sounds like deep down she knows this and is already planning to support you no matter what. I know the situation can be difficult, but feel free to take your time and deal with all of the emotions in your own way, and do what you believe is right for you, not to avoid disappointment or because you will be alone. My mother had my father there her entire pregnancy and she never felt support or helped, so the physical presence isn’t always the only thing that matters. Best of luck 🤞