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3 months ago

When should I give up on breast feeding?

So my son is now 1 month old. He did not latch at all for the first 3 weeks. When he did latch at day 23, he doesn't move much milk. After about 45 mins of bf, he need atleast a 2 ounce bottle of pumped breast milk. Every single time. Its draining me out physically and emotionally. I feel so inadequate and also lack of sleep. Because I bf and then pump for the next feed atleast. Washing the bottles and pump, storing the milk, keeping a track of everything... Frankly speaking I am loosing it. Is there a time line to this? Should I directly consider formula?
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3 months ago

@Hope thanks! It made me feel a lot better...

3 months ago

@Tanmayee Going through the same thing. My girl is a little over 1 month, and would not have a good latch at the beginning (doesn’t have a lip/tongue tie), tried lactation consultants and nothing helped. It was really painful and would get bleeding nipples, her mouth was really small and could not get her lips to flare like they’re supposed to for a good latch. Because of this she wasn’t gaining enough weight so my pediatrician suggested giving her formula to supplement, now I do combination feeding (pumping + formula) and it is A LOT of work! Considering switching to only formula, so I know the feeling of frustration when you want to give your baby bm too, you’re not alone! But have read many articles and listened to podcasts that say the benefits of bm are not above the mental health of moms. So maybe we should go for it! Like they mentioned in some comments here, babies need happy moms!

3 months ago

Have you potentially tried a nipple sandwich or the flipple technique? My lo hardly ever opens her mouth up wide, but I find those much easier to hook her onto the breast. But if you're really struggling then its completely your choice, you know in your head you tried, your parents shouldn't force you to do something either. They say breast is best, but fed is even better, happy mummy happy baby! So do what works better for your mental health, no one should judge you on how you FEED your baby :)

3 months ago

I breastfed my first for 1 year. Got Mastitis once and managed at home. This 2nd baby, I was hospitalised for 4 nights with a breast abscess and could not continue. I switched to formula and it was the best decision ever! I got advice from friends, nurses and doctors that I should never feel guilty for stopping. Emergency doctors and nurses can not understand why lactation nurses keep telling people to breastfeed. They told me they see so many and too many patients come in from breastfeeding issues. I was relieved to know that whole emergency department was on my side 😂😂 I saw 3 Breast surgeons and they told me that being a mother is so much more than breastfeeding. And it is. Side note, I had always thought formula was superior to breastmilk because my brothers were formula fed and I was breast fed and they went to Harvard and I didn’t 😆😆😆

3 months ago

It is very stressful I agree. If it’s getting to be too much just feed your baby formula. At least you gave it your all, don’t feel bad.

3 months ago

I would skip pumping and go for breastfeed and formula. Breastfeeding is practice which both you and your baby requires. Start with breastfeeding for 15 minutes every session and give the bottle of formula later. At the end it's your decision, Your baby needs a happy mamma! Don't feel guilty about stopping BF.

3 months ago

Your mental health is worth more if you feel like formula will help you to be a better you and mom make the switch

3 months ago

@Hanna nope... He just doesn't like to open his mouth wide enough... And therefore doesn't suck very well... After 1 Hour he would still need a bottle

3 months ago

You could do exclusive pumping regularly until your supply is up and you can exclusively breastfeed.

3 months ago

Does your baby have a tongue tie by chance?

3 months ago

My son struggled to latch and I switch to exclusive breastfeeding. Less stress and happy fed baby

3 months ago

@Tanmayee gotcha! Well perfecting a latch can take time too! My daughter is prone to being lazy at the breast and until recently, around 10 weeks, I had to kind of remind her to put more effort in (which I did by stroking her cheek).

3 months ago

It takes about 6-8 weeks for everything to get going. If your baby has latch issues they might have a tongue tie or something. I had a nightmare time to begin with and felt like you. I ploughed on though and after a while we have it pretty easy. Personally I could t imagine formula feeding and sterilising and stuff. It’s easier to breastfeed once it’s established. If it’s having such an impact on you though that it’s affecting your mental health and ability to be a Mumma then of course there is no shame in giving up.

3 months ago

@Lauren 🤠 Supply is okay.. He just doesn't latch well.. But takes better from the bottle... But I think I am going to try that... Bf and then formula feed...

3 months ago

If I was in your position I'd give up pumping and combo feed with nursing and formula. Then you get the benefits of the breastmilk without the hassle of pumping all the time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. And in time, nursing may up your supply (it does a much better job of this than pumping), and then you may be able to reduce the amount of formula you need (this happened to a friend of mine).

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3 months ago

I was in a similar situation and eventually stopped at 4 months. It was the right decision for me because my baby needed me in a good mental and physical state and I was able to give him so much more when I let breastfeeding go. You seem very informed and like you’ve tried lots of things so I wouldn’t let anyone guilt you into carrying on longer than you feel able to. As others have said you could consider supplementing before switching fully to see how you feel about it before committing to full formula or reduce the number of breastfeeds and have some where you only pump to reduce the workload a bit. Then you have the option to build back up if you decide you’re not ready to stop

3 months ago

@Tamia I have the same exact situation as you with my baby. It does get easier. Nothing wrong with alternating between breast milk and formula if you need to.

3 months ago

@Tanmayee so sorry that you're experiencing that too, but go ahead and what's best for you is going to be what's best for your son. No guilt about it. It is not easy and natural for everyone like they'll have us believe.

3 months ago

It’s really up to you. I just stopped at 4 months as I was slowing in supply, but you are right, it’s a lot of time and effort to pump full time. Formula feeding is certainly easier and your mental and physical health is as important as your babies

3 months ago

I have tried lactation consultant and everything.. I am done. It's just too much pressure.. Everything hurts... Plus I am constantly crying.. But my parents want me to try with breast feeding... I am done...

3 months ago

Hi, I had an even worse situation. My milk didn't come at all in the beginning, and I had to start with formula on day one. With the pump, I managed to get around 50 to 100ml every couple of hours. The whole day, I would produce enough for one bottle. My baby would get very upset on my breast, and I was frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed. I gave up completely after 2 months (tried every supplement and trick my lactation consultant recommended). Then my life became soooooo much better! I had time to sleep since my husband could feed her anytime, too. I also let go of the pressure and extra work. My baby was happy, healthy, and well fed.

3 months ago

My baby was a c section baby and he was in the nicu so he started on formula. I had to catch up without seeing him some days because I had a fever from an infection from the c section. It was good to get a break with the formula because the first months of breast feeding is so hard. Your sleep deprived and your nipples hurt. But the older your baby gets the less time he will take to eat and he will get better a pulling milk. My milk really came in the more I put my baby to breast. Plus he drinks milk from a bottle when I’m at work and I get sick of washing bottle and pump parts

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