Relationship coming to an end
Hi group, I’m just looking for some advice. Me and my partner have been together coming up 2 years. Things were great before I moved in with him then things went downhill, they picked up when I found out I was pregnant.. during my pregnancy things started to slip again and I noticed I was still doing everything, I was going to appointments alone and had a hospital stay during my pregnancy and rather then him coming to bring me anything he asked if I wanted our friend to bring me stuff to the hospital.
Everything got sorted and then I ended up having our daughter prematurely which put a massive strain on our relationship.
We got her home, things were great for a couple of days and then he just stopped.. stopped helping at night time, stopped helping out during the day.. so not only was I recovering from a c section I was still trying to do everything around the house as well as take care of our daughter and his son. When I asked him to support me more, even if it’s a night time just so I can get an hours sleep I get told “well I used to hear the two others (he has two from a previous relationship) I just don’t hear her to get up”
I’ve stuck through this all because I don’t want him or my daughter to miss out on time, but ultimately I’m so emotionally and mentally drained. I no longer feel like myself.. we’ve spoken about if we split and I’ve told him I don’t want him having her overnight until she’s at least 2, especially as he doesn’t wake up with her and just leaves her screaming.. but he made me feel so guilty for even saying anything I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong. 😢
Show your support
Have you guys considered couples therapy if you feel like you want to make it work? If not there is nothing wrong with raising a child in a split home if that provides a better environment for the child. I coparent my oldest with her dad because us being separated has always provided a much healthier life for her than what we could have given her if we'd stayed together. She didn't stay overnight with him until she was 6 months old. Before then he picked her up for a few hours and then I got her back. And then when she was 6 months we did 2 days on 2 days off. After a year it was 3 and 3 until she got closer to school age now it's me during the week and him on most weekends.
Trending in our community
I’m strongly considering leaving too. I have 2u2 as well as a selfish, immature man child. I do 100% of everything, he can’t keep a job and just smokes and goes out with friends. Since our eldest was born (18m) I’ve never had a break so I can do what I want. I’m just a mother, nothing else. I told him I wish I was dead but he still doesn’t help at all. I’m extremely depressed and just at an all time low. I hate him so much but love him so much too. My partner also doesn’t wake up to our kids. I’m awake at 5:30/6am everyday, he wakes at 11am. Anyhow, you’re not bad for saying that. Stick to your boundary of not wanting her with him overnight. A good custody schedule seems to be the 4-4–3-3 (4days each, then 3 days each)