Rant!

Anyone else get incredibly annoyed with their significant other all the time? For instance he just goes and takes a shower whenever he feels like it, no thought about it and I’m talking 30 plus minutes. I literally have to ask him to take a shower to make sure he will watch the baby. It is absolutely ridiculous to me. Or he comes home from work says hey to baby then immediately goes outside to work on his car but he tells me we can come and hang out with him outside. I have been home all day with baby, no I don’t need a break or anything, yes I want to sit in a hot garage with our child while you work on a car and still get no help from you bc your hands are filthy. I do not feel like I should have to tell him to help with his child. I do not feel like I should have to ask him to spend time with his child so that I can clean bottles bc I have not had the opportunity to all day or so I can get some laundry done or just basic cleaning bc his idea of cleaning is doing the dishes nothing else, like the kitchen is the only thing that needs to be cleaned in the house. He got annoyed last night bc baby was fussy and wouldn’t go sleep after being outside until 10, he hadn’t been taking care of him, he had not been dealing with a fussy crying baby all day why the hell is he annoyed?! Just need to vent a little, I mean he’s not all bad but there are just some things that really get to me that he just does not seem to understand.

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@Molly EXACTLY!!! Like his life hasn’t changed, I couldn’t have said it better! I’ve talked to him too and his response is all you have to do is ask. Ugh! Like I don’t want to have to ask to take a dang shower. I want you to just take over taking care of our child without me having to ask you to. We are at five months, I hope it gets better but it’s not looking like it.

My husband is pretty hands on with our baby but he still does this from time to time. I will be home with the baby all week and want him to take over on the weekends but he needs to go get an hour massage before that happens. He will feed, bath and change her diapers but rarely puts her to sleep and then gets upset when I want to sleep train. Men aren't taught to put others first like we are and it sucks

I don't ask him to do things so I can shower I just hand our kid over and tell him 🤷 Granted he works from home so he sees all that I do in a day and can appreciate how needy she can be so when things don't get done he knows it's not for a lack of trying

I think it’s kinda just part of the gig of being a mother. Maybe ask if he can have designated days for the car? Like Wednesday’s Friday’s hes inside w you. Also don’t just vaguely ask him to be more involved bc he thinks he’s fine, be specific with what you want and ask for it. Maybe it’s, when u come home you can take ur shower but when ur done can u watch baby so I can take mine? Or can you do bath time on certain days etc. My man loves working on/throwing money towards his truck so I feel ur pain. & maybe just tell him u appreciate all his does & if you feel like you need some back, express that.

Hi Incognito, I’m a Life Coach and want to offer the reflective questions that came up for me as I read your post. - Why do you think you shouldn’t have to tell him to help? - What if he truly just doesn’t realize that you need help or a break? - How could you approach your significant other from neutral emotions in order to share your struggles? - What if this is part of the process of becoming a team as parents? It’s so common for moms and partners to have these growing pains after baby joins the family. And as with most moms, if they don’t tell their significant other exactly what they need, mom’s needs aren’t getting met and then the resentment builds. You aren’t alone in this at all. This is all normal. So the last thing I’d offer is this: - What do you need to believe about yourself in order to ensure you’re getting your needs met? - What do you need to believe about your partner to shift out of the adversarial mindset and into a teammates mindset? You’ve got this ❤️💐

Speak up or forever hold your peace 😮‍💨😬

@Samantha thank you for this perspective, this will help me communicate with him better.

@Molly your husband won't change a dirty diaper (poop not pee)? That's crazy. I didn't change a single diaper for the first 4 weeks of my baby's life because my husband did them all. Your husband is completely capable. I know it! Tell him he can do it and that you have faith in him.

@Ashley thank you that’s a good idea

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