Marriage

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years . He asked me today if he would to ask me to marry him would I say yes ? I said no . I told him that I wanted to get married when our relationship was healthier & we were where we wanted to be in life & our families can sit together in a room & be happy for us . Side story / our family don’t get along bc we were mean to each-other in the beginning and I told my family & they would say stuff to him & his family doesn’t respect that so they don’t talk . Anyways . He said that was a fairytale and every relationship has problems & that’s not happening basically . I told him , I see many people have accomplished the dream of being in a happy stable home with a healthy relationship ? Like I’m going to make that happen for me . Why wouldn’t I ? I deserve that , that’s what I always wanted.? Why do I have to settle for less ? && he’s like our parents will never get along & I’m not saying be friends , I’m saying sit in a room without it being weird and celebrate with us . Anyways then he started insulting me and calling me names bc he felt like he’s been trying so hard for our future & I basically just said something that he thinks will never happen . I think it can.

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He started insulting you because you have expectations about what you want your relationship to look like which is so great. His childish response to this however 🚩🚩🚩 He absolutely proved your point that he's not ready

I would say no because of family crap , in my experience it never resolved

If that’s his reaction and you don’t want to settle for less then why are you still with him after 4 years and he nor you have changed for the good? I’m confused as to why you are wasting time with him. You could move on y’all not married and your happiness matters.

I mean he shouldn’t have been rude but I see why he’s annoyed. Y’all have already been together for a while and he wants to marry you and you just don’t care. Whether in a marriage or in a dating relationship you still go through hard times so if you want to wait to get married to me that makes no sense and probably doesn’t make sense to him either. Y’all can work on your problems and family problems together. Because you do have high expectations and what you want might never happen. If you keep putting off getting married then he might not stay around for long. If your relationship isn’t healthy then why are you even In it? I think go to counseling and talk about it more and get married. Maybe marriage could even help with stuff but if you aren’t wanting to get married because of family and lots of other reasons then idk if y’all should even be in a relationship. Or waiting forever for something to be perfect to get married

Insulting and name calling 🚩not a grown up response

Girl. He started insulting you when he didn’t get his way. That quality alone is a red flag. Definitely don’t marry this dude.

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