Hey girls. So my partner and i had come to an agreement that we would look for another girl to have a threesome with. Well he met someone and i told him nevermind. He went behind my back and had sex with her anyways. So he cheated!
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@Julie i know im crazy! I think its just confusion right now. Its been hard.
@Okane i told him nevermind because when he told me that he kissed her i felt jealous.
Lol helllll nahhhhh I don’t like to share I’m glad my husband never asked me this lmao 🤣 although I do spice it up in the bedroom enough for him to not ask me this 💀
It sounds like part of you does want to explore having a threesome but are unsure because you think it will hurt you and you may get jealous. My husband and I used to be in the swinger lifestyle before I got pregnant and to be honest it made us closer than ever. To others it might sound weird but we developed a deeper bond and trust and I know my husband would never cheat on me. At the end of the day I know my husband would never do it without me and I know him having sex with the other woman is only sexual with no real feelings there. I never thought that watching him have sex with another woman would turn me on so much but it does. We only have sex with other women and I am bisexual though so I know others may not feel the same way but I’ve found that being in the lifestyle most women are straight and they later find out that being with another woman is actually a turn on. If you are curious and you think it may turn you on, just watch first and see how you feel.
Set a rule that if you feel uncomfortable during any moment they have to stop and at the same time he has to be willing to respect your boundaries and be willing to stop if you do feel uncomfortable.
If you do want to explore a threesome, I say take your time and do your research. This isn’t new and plenty of people have done it before and there’s probably books etc about it. Think through all kinds of scenarios and possibilities I would think that everyone would want the experience to be honest and fun. So if you’re felling jealous and hurt then don’t do it.
So my partner used to be fwb with my best friend. I used to take her to his house and wait in the car while they hooked up. Mind you I had no clue who he was at the time. But about 3 months later me n him started hooking up and she is total complete opposite of me. I always would picture the shit she would tell me and think to myself like is that what he’s into??? Bc it’s not how it goes down with me n him??? Idk its weird n hard to explain I guess
When 3 sums the man never find the women. They woman do. You should know what your man like take a pic of her then so him. He should have no contact with her at all. After it’s done she go about her business yall go about y’all’s. I never had one but i heard stories 😂😂
Don't be a glutton for punishment. I would leave him!
This isn’t going to end well
Hard no, don’t do that! It’s almost like rewarding him for his shitty behaviour
Sorry that you went through this. Honestly it sounds like trauma to me. I’d talk to a therapist - you are likely still trying to process it all.
Highly recommend reading or listening to Esther Perel’s the state of affairs, rethinking infidelity - it doesn’t condone infidelity let me be clear - but explores how different people respond to it and it’s actually not uncommon to fantasise or be aroused by the thought of it whilst still being hurt, it’s just a way some people process what has happened. It may help you to explore how you really feel about it and think about how you want to move forward.
I’m not sure this can end well. Relationships are built on trust and he broke it. If the agreement was a threesome then you watching them after the cheating won’t make things ok, necessarily. And also he obviously doesn’t respect you enough to have stuck to the agreement. Will seeing the act make it better? Maybe. But it may also just cause you anxiety about what could happen with other people behind your back.
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I think since he already went behind your back and cheated and you’ve already shown signs of jealousy from the kiss it’s prob not a good idea to explore that.
If he pushed a boundary that you set in the relationship- regardless of how horny it makes you, that’s not ok. If you slept with another guy without him there - how would he feel??
Sounds like a threesome could maybe still be on the table but I think doing anything with the girl he cheated with probably should be avoided for your sanity. I think if you’re interested in exploring it might be a little healthier for you as a couple to seek out somebody new together, and maybe don’t let the guy pick the other girl, it should probably be about you this time 🤷♀️ set rules first and be firm on your boundaries.
He’s fully betrayed your trust this relationship isn’t going to go well
Personally I wouldn’t be having any kind of three some with this man. For him to cheat on you when you had an agreement in place means that he will go and do it again. It wasn’t just sex when he cheated on you, I believe he was actively flirting and chatting away to this woman. If you was to ask him the question about sleeping with her again but in a three some setting. 1, you would notice that there’s actual chemistry between the two. 2, he would know that him cheating on you is playing on your mind. 3, his probably slept with her more than one occasion already. I’d be asking to see the text messages between the two of them.
You can watch him 1000 times with her it but you will never see it for how they were when you wasn’t there! Why would you want to put yourself through that?!