Husband hates our son

Could he have depression? It's a thing for men post partum too.

My husband had a really hard time bonding with my son at first. Once my son started smiling and getting a bit of a personality it got easier. It was hard for him to see how easily I handled my son and how quickly my son settled just being touched by me. When he could finally start "playing" with him it came a lot easier

Did he actually say he didn’t love him? 😭 I am so sorry. That’s really harsh to say about a baby. Maybe he is feeling disconnected, but to say he doesn’t love him is so much more. My husband really didn’t put in that much effort to bond at first because he felt ‘unneeded’ but has really been stepping up when he turned about 3 months. I’m hoping it gets better for you. And I’m really hoping your husband was coming out of a place from Frustration with something else and not your baby. Just a reminder, men can get a form of PPD too, so maybe he is going through something. Sending you love ❤️

@Laurie I think that’s a strong possibility- I’ve recommended he speak to a professional for help but he claims he’s fine and doesn’t need it. I can’t force him to help himself as much as I’d like to

I think men struggle to bond with newborns in general, as he had surgery that won’t be helping either, my husband did struggle with the newborn stage, and was about 6 months old he really started to connect, now my son is 4 years old and is a complete daddy boy, I would say try and be patient, and give him as much opportunity to try and bond wherever possible. I hope that helps. X

Take a break go stay with parents or something you need to protect your mental health and your babies. Babies can feel that energy

I’ll be honest and say I didn’t feel immense and overwhelming love for one of our kids right away. I loved them but it didn’t feel like an overwhelming love. I thought I was broken because I only ever heard of women experiencing nothing but love right away. But it’s not uncommon to not feel those things, especially since he just had surgery and can’t help with anything. I had to have a C-section, my milk never came in and I felt like a failure on top of the hormones fluctuating after birth. It does get better. That kid is the light of my life and there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for him. Maybe he just feels inadequate that he can’t help much.

I agree with take a break , step away for a little bit so you can be your happiest for your baby

Could he have post natal depression? I read that men can go through it too. Perhaps he should speak to a doctor. It’s great that he’s told you how he’s feeling. For some the bond is instant and takes it time.

You're absolutely right unfortunately, he needs to get the help for himself. I really do hope things improve. I've been there myself, struggled to have a bond so I do understand

Aww dont worry, this will pass. My husband went through the same thing with our 3rd baby, although i had been in hosp, emergency cection and on a covid ward for 2 weeks. A whole big ordeal that has given him trauma, so he found it real hard to bond with baby. He didnt confess that to me till baby was 6/7months, said he didnt feel any feelings towards him at all and he dreaded coming home from work etc he did say the biggest help was when i would go off to do a food shop or pop in to my mum for a while and it kinda forced him to spend 1 on 1 time with him. I totally get the feelings too, babies are hard no matter if its the first or fifth and it turns your world upside down for a while till you find a new norm xx

Please do not leave your baby with him at any time!! Even if he has depression! That’s extremely harsh to come out of a parents mouth. He either needs help or needs to walk away that baby will sense his feelings towards him. X

Dads have postpartum too

PPD in men is real just a heads-up , he might need a doctor..best wishes to you mama

How was he when u were pregnant? Sounds like it could be ppd