Caught my partner looking at naked photos of porn stars since I’ve given birth

Personally I don’t consider it cheating however I can understand it knocking you given that just like me you’ve just had a baby!! But she’s just a woman on a screen that he’s never gonna meet!! I’d consider him quite considerate if I’m honest 😂 He’s not seeing other women and he’s not badgering you for sex at a inappropriate time! X

@Maxine i agree with Maxine at some part but this can escalate to more later on for lack of sex and don’t feel guilt if it happened that just means he didn’t respect you enough to wait until you were comfortable and ready for it.

Plus we should worry about ourselves healing we push a damn baby out of vaginas, if man had go through that they probably would never want to have sex again so why pressure ourselves to try to satisfy them

@Maxine I know what you mean. It’s only just started since I’ve given birth. Only thing is, it makes me feel uncomfortable- because he’s hiding it from me and she looks nothing like me at all. I know that he’ll never meet her (lives half way across the world) and she’s just online but makes me feel insecure and worried it will escalate. But I know what you mean about not badgering me/letting me heal! Xx

@Jessica this is what I’m worried about- it escalating. He has NEVER done this before, and it’s only since I can’t have sex/my post birth body that I’ve noticed him saving the photos/hiding them. Worried it will escalate further… x

@Jessica definitely. He’s been so good at not pressuring me etc but now I think it’s because he’s been entertaining himself…x

You have a right to feel the way you feel. I would be extremely upset and I’d have to say something. I wouldn’t say it is cheating but I think he could have some respect for the mother of his child to control his sexual desires until your ready for sex again. I guess it’s a man thing! Which doesn’t make it acceptable though, if he wouldn’t actually go and have sex with another woman then why is he watching on a screen fantasising over doing it!? It’s not ok. But you 100% have a right to be upset. I would tell him exactly how it has made you feel and going forward hopefully he respects your wishes and doesn’t do it again xx

Cheating differs between relationships. If you and your partner have agreed that watching porn is cheating, then I would say yes. I personally don't find watching porn as cheating but rather a form of self pleasure. If it's made you uncomfortable, I don't see any harm in opening a discussion about it. He genuinely could just be horny (men typically are...I've lost count how many times I've been asked if I've stopped bleeding), but relationships work better when both parties are honest and don't bundle thoughts and feelings inside

I don't know if this helps, but I find my partner stopped hiding porn from me, when I started making it about US. When I told a white lie and said I like to see him masturbate. It's not something I particularly care for, but now he doesn't even think of doing it alone in the bathroom to porn where I may feel offended, he does it right Infront of me, and I'm okay with that, there's no secrets, it's just porn, and I feel comfortable knowing that's all it is xx

I don’t consider it cheating but I think you should tell him how it’s made you feel about yourself. I’m not sure I’d like it if I had discovered my hubby was saving pictures but I personally don’t have a problem with him watching porn especially while I’m out of action!

I wouldn’t consider it cheating, although id definitely rather not know! If what you have seen upsets you then have a conversation with him. Just say you understand that he has his own needs but there is an element that has upset you. Communication is key!

I know that this is a really tough time especially because you are still recovering from giving birth. However, you could use this as an opportunity to be a little more creative in helping him out. I know for myself sex has been hard and uncomfortable but I try to please my partner with maybe a hand job or oral to try and meet his needs. Unfortunately for men a build up of sperm can cause their testicals to become sore and therefore need to have some kind of release. This way it keeps the intimacy going in the relationship but also you don't need to worry about having actual sex until you are ready. It's a win win. 😊