disagreement with partner, help!!

me and my partner cannot seem to agree on this..

this is my first pregnancy and i am not planning to become pregnant again due to the difficulty i am having so i wanted to make it special.
i was really hoping for a gender reveal and baby shower, but my partner is refusing this all together and won’t hear me out at all - he says it’s something that should be between me and him and he doesn’t want a family member to know before us.
problem is, if i decide i dont want to know the gender, the midwife won’t tell him which i know will annoy him… i just feel like my feelings aren’t being taken into account and its a what he says goes kinda thing.

any advice is appreciated.

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Hey hun firstly try not to stress too much you’re body is going through enough changes at the same time.

Why not suggest that he finds out and you find out at the reveal ? Could that be an option ? Then leave him to arrange the balloon etc for the reveal ?

Baby showers are commonly for the mother anyway so I would still do this

Feel free to pop me a message if you want to chat hunnie
Xxx

he cant find out if i dont want to know thats the problem they wont allow it, plus he cant keep secrets and his whole family has already said he’d end up slipping up by saying what the baby is accidentally.. i just wanted it to be something we both find out together with our families ☹️xx

Yeah that makes sense darling maybe just try sit him down and explain how you are feeling I know it’s easier said then done these men are stubborn 🤣

I guess it just boils down to compromise and trying to find a happy medium xx

i have tried but he’s just so adamant it isnt happening and we find out on the day on the gender scan, his dad also said why not compromise but he still said no 😔

My husband also doesn’t want a gender reveal. His reasons were he wants to process the news privately and not have to be in social situation when he finds out the gender of his first and last born. I do want a small intimate one with family only. So we compromised. We will find out at the scan and our family is coming over the same afternoon and we will do a small smoke gender reveal for them.
He also didn’t understand why I want a baby shower but I’m having one anyway since he’s not involved and it’ll be a ladies thing anyway.
It all comes down to communication. Maybe try and understand why your partner is against events ( my husband is very introverted and hates social gatherings) and address his concerns. There’s lots of decisions and things happening when it coming to having a baby, navigating everything is hard enough. You’ll figure it out☺️

i try to compromise i said why not a small gathering instead just close family, but he still said no.. i even said why not just the two of us but like a little cake reveal at home so its still just us two but we still have a nice surprise, still no - so he gets what he wants and i dont get what i want

i’d love to do a baby shower but he doesnt see the point and i rely on him financially so i’ll have no money to set anything up ☹️

i thought about it genuinely! but i know it will cause so many problems and i know his family and my family really want to know and if we wanted to know again we’d have to wait a while… im just so stuck ☹️ it feels like he doesn’t understand this is my first and probably last pregnancy so i want to do all that fancy stuff even if he thinks its ‘stupid’

she probably would, but the issue i have is i would want it to be a surprise i wouldnt want to know beforehand if you get me? x

maybe he’s worried about finances ? It sounds like he’s being stubborn and you both aren’t hearing each other and wanting different things. These 2 events are fairly minor but if your having a baby together it might be a good way to improve your communication, learn to compromise and listen to understand each other. There will be lots more future decisions that are critical to the care of yourself and the child and you’d want to know you can both handle things well when you have differences.
Good luck

im just at a loss, everytime i bring it up it just turns into him saying he doesnt see the point and doesnt want it and that he wouldnt even be interested at the gender reveal its just for women apparently- i can understand that for a baby shower because it usually is but a gender reveal is for both parents!

You just do the gender reveal / baby shower and he don’t come.

Go for the scan and get it in a envelope, he can find out himself and you can do your gathering.

Sound like your going to have a lot of problems with him as your going to have a lot of things to decide together and compromise with a baby.

Don’t let him dictate to you. If he won’t compromise you do what you want and leave him to it.

It’s your final choice anyway. Tell him if he can’t even be reasonable he won’t come to the scan then your pick what’s what.

You really need to be able to compromise together for a lot in the near future.

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