Is it selfish of me to want only my husband, baby and I alone for the first week post delivery??

What’s the best way to communicate this to them in a loving respectful way??

“We are just so excited- it would mean a lot to us to meet the baby within the first few days as they are so little and precious”- completely acceptable statement. “We have a day because we are grandparents” is controlling, manipulative, and raises so many concerns. So because they are grandparents, they feel they have a say in the grand child’s way of being raised? How far does this say extend for them? Are they going to question every decision you make because they are the grandparents? Those are some red flags and you and your partner need to talk it out.

Not selfish at all. I’m so glad your husband is supporting you too. I felt the same way because you’ll be physically going through a lot those first few days and weeks. You are doing the right thing by looking out for your own well-being. Having healthy boundaries is good.

I am so relieved by all these comments. For the first time in my life I looked forward to something I actually could have full say on without guilt. I have grown this human inside me for 9 mos and as supportive as my husband has been, there’s no question at all that the mothers are going through all the physical changes alone and will be going through the physical changes of bringing baby into earth and caring for baby the first few weeks so I should 1000% have all the say and it should trump everyone else’s!! I hate that I’m feeling guilty for it!! Thank you for validating my emotions ladies & telling me it’s my own right and to not feel bad about it. I am by no means pushing family out of the picture. I want grandparents on both side to be active part of our baby’s life! Of course! But What is 5 days after or 10 days or a month after?? Please respect our boundaries and you will meet baby when we’re ready!! I dislike that everyone seemingly is so excited about baby’s arrival but

..in the process seemingly ignore mama’s needs. Like please this was a very tasking job for my body and mind so if I want 5,10, 1 Mo of just healing and bonding- I should have the say.

All I would say is that I really wish I’d of given myself more time before people came to the house and bombarded us. The next baby I have we won’t be having visitors for the first two weeks. It was so overwhelming being so tired and in pain and having people in the house. There was times I sobbed because I felt I hadn’t held my baby in hours because people had hold of her.

@kelly oh my goodness. I’m so so sorry for your experience. This should never be any mama’s experiences- especially a first time mama. It’s such a tough subject, and I’m so shocked that it’s not accepted as the norm for mama to have the say regarding it.

I’m not having any visitors for around 4 weeks! In laws and family have been very pushy this pregnancy and I know they’re excited but I just want some space to myself to settle in with my partner. I get overwhelmed with other people around easily, I like to keep my space clean and no one lives up to my cleaning standards 🤣 it’s just more people to clean up after. I may even want more time, so I’ve just told family “I’ll let you know when I’m ready for visitors but we’ll be taking 4 weeks to ourselves at least and then we will invite you over when we’re ready”. I can tell some people aren’t happy about it but I honestly couldn’t care less 🤣.

I also can’t bare the thought of anyone else holding my baby at the moment which is another reason I don’t want any visitors too soon.

My parents & his came to the hospital briefly and I will say that was stressful and not enjoyable at all. I was in pain, I was emotional, I hadn't slept, I was uncomfortable, I wasn't able to make myself presentable. So when I went home, and they wanted to visit again and even stay with me- I said no. I needed the time with my SO and baby to heal emotionally & physically. We needed to find out routine. To adjust for ourselves. To become comfortable in our new situation. As well for our baby. We have to remember that the baby has just been tossed into a whole new world and needs that time to bond & be comfortable. It was a special time for US. Not everyone else. I don't think you're in the wrong. I think that taking the time to yourself, bonding, healing and establishing is so important. I'd stand your ground, don't feel guilty. ♥️