MIL keeps taking baby away from me

You are a Mum now you are going to have to tell her no. Be firm. Tell her not to take the baby to another room as you are not ready for that. Tell her if baby cries they come back to you

I would clearly state your boundaries and say if she refuses to follow them, then you will not be visiting or allowing visiting for the foreseeable future. Her making your baby and you distressed to satisfy her own means is selfish and rude. Either follow your rules or no contact.

I have asked my partner to have a word with her but he hasn't yet. I'm not that comfortable talking to her.

I'm sure it's hard to hear but you need to start standing up for yourself and your baby. You're the parent and you can say no to someone trying to take your baby and you can take your baby back whenever you want. Just do it!

Agree that sometimes in life you have to put your big girl pants on and just do it. If I'm ever hesitant about stuff, I remind myself that my kids are my job now. At work, I have to do jobs I don't like, parenting is the same.

You’re going to have to find it in you to say no, or say oh she’s a bit clingy today I’m going to keep hold of her, like don’t feel afraid or pushed around you just need to be prepared and practice standing up for yourself. Say stay in this room please. Or follow them into the other room if she still goes. Or take your baby up into your own room until she’s gone if she doesn’t get the message, especially if your partner isn’t willing to say anything to her you’re going to have to take matters into your own hands. If you don’t now when will you? Your baby’s 8 weeks you don’t want to be feelin the same when she’s 8 months! You can do it x

Oh I had this! You have to stand up for yourself and your baby. If it’s making you anxious, stop it happening. Just say you’re fine holding your baby, end of conversation. Do not let her override you and you need to put a stop to it yourself, no one else should speak on your behalf. How you’re feeling is totally normal and valid. She needs to butt out, they can bond later, if she doesn’t ruin your relationship now!

Your partner needs to interfere, this isn't okay. I think she is nostalgic of being a younger mother and yearning for that experience again, but she doesn't get to take that away from you. As a mother herself, she should absolutely understand the boundaries and expectations we each has as individual parents. Emphasis your personal space and have your partner play interference, this is too much for you alone.

If your partner isn't speaking to her on your behalf then unfortunately you will have to have the uncomfortable conversation. You're a mom now comfort isn't something you get to judge hard conversations on anymore. If it's causing a problem you need to speak up.

Couldn't agree more with every comment. You need to speak up because no one else will.

"MIL, unless you plan to actually help by changing her diaper or feeding her, please give her back to me." And any time she takes your baby to another room, follow her and stay there until she comes back to everyone else. That's creepy, and there is no good reason that she *needs* to be alone with your child.

Something that might help you with a boost of confidence to stand your ground with her is thinking your not doing this for you reflex but for your little one. If you know your little one isn’t ready or wanting to be with another you can validate your baby’s feelings by saying no and taking them back.

I agree with all the above. I'd also like to add that she's probably taking advantage of you knowing that you're not the confrontational kinda person and that's bullying. That is not ok. Honestly, speaking from experience, in my first marriage I didn't say anything and the situation got worse...ended in a divorce. Since then I made a vow to myself that I would never let anyone do that again. And I don't. If my baby needs me, then I will be there for him. I am the mother and knows my baby better than anyone. I'm not going to let any other person try their techniques when I know mine work. Your voice must be heard my dear...speak up now before it's too late x

You need to put her in her place. That is your baby not hers. She needs to learn that you have boundaries that need to be respected

Channel your inner Mama Lion. If your husband isn't going to say anything tham you do it. Be calm but very firm. I just take a deep breath and say what you need to say and draw that line with her.

Do you try baby wearing? I've learned some moms and even myself have done to avoid others trying to just grab your child all the time. Maybe try it only when she's around. Also, I'd have the husband handle it, or tell her something on the spot as she's doing it. Especially if you're not comfortable doing so.

Keep in mind that you’re Mama and you get to set the boundaries ❤️ I will say that with my first I found it annoying when people wanted to take him off my hands the moment they walked in but now that I have a second baby I’m super appreciative for the break 😂 One thing I’ve had to do is if someone has tried hogging them in a group consistently, when I’m done feeding/changing/etc and they go to gran them right away I’ll respond with “oh, I already promised so and so they could hold him when he was ready”. That way other people get a chance to hold Baby too ❤️ I would also make a general rule that Baby stays in the same room as me in group settings too, and just say it’s across the board so she doesn’t feel targeted 🤷🏻‍♀️

Put a stop to this NOW!!! You need to have a sit down and talk to her! Me and my mil butted heads a lot after I gave birth. In the end, I asked her around and got it all out. It was tough because she kept trying to play the "poor me card," but I stood my ground, and we are so much better now. She knows her place. Don't let it carry on because it will honestly get you so down. Your mum and what YOU say goes. Dont worry about a fall out it will pass

Y’all need to have that talk. She is being disrespectful and pushing boundaries. We know she loves the baby but she not the mama so she needs to know her place and you need to grow a spine mama. 🥰 Have the talk and it will help her know how to not treat u this way

You are the advocate for your baby if you don’t speak up and defend your child when you know she is in distress who will. You need to find the courage to tell your MIL to stop and stop being a people pleaser your scared of hurting her feelings because you know she will act immaturely and wont be accountable and try and play victim hence why you can’t bring yourself to tell her to stop. Nip it in the bud from now

omg I'm so sorry but i hate hearing stuff like this. Its your baby take your baby back. You are not being mean you are being a mother. Do not let mil keep your baby from you that isnt okay. Put an end to that now pllleeeaasseee

Give me MILs number I’ll text her for you 🤣🤣

My MIL used to do this with my first born and I would follow her or just say “don’t take her out of my sight” it caused a few cross words because she asked if I trusted her and I just said she’s my baby and I want her close and in my sight all the time there is no reason for you to take her away.

I can completely understand how uncomfortable it may be but you need to be firm. I had something similar and had to put my foot down and say no in the end because it was at the point where noone would listen to a word I said. It's your child, do what you need to do and do not worry about how grown adults react to you speaking up.

Lol , my cousin does this . As soon as we walk in with the baby she comes grabs him and his backpack and is on mom duty the whole time . Changes him feeds him calms him all of that . I don’t mind cause I know family wants their time with him too . They deserve of cause they want to . I’m usually with him 24/7 so I don’t mind sharing him

This is so triggering to me, I’d be so annoyed and frustrated. Why do the grandmothers always try to make this all about them??

I’ve had this issue - my mil has to take baby into a different room away from the group but why? Does anyone know why? I see so many posts about mils, are these women crazy like why do they turn like this?

@Kate I think my MIL does it because she is desperate to be alone with them it’s like she feels that she’s not a proper grandmother unless she has them alone and she knows if she asks to babysit I will say no.

I just want to second Andreas comment on baby wearing. My MIL is like this so I often baby wear (especially when it was the first 12 weeks). It’s a good way to keep in control and be protective over your little one without feeling the need to be confrontational. I didn’t feel emotionally okay having those convos in the first 12 weeks (PP is rough!). People forget how dependent babies are on mum especially in the first few weeks and how over stimulated they get when every Tom dick and harry are shoving their face in theirs and walking away from the one place they know and feel safe (with you). On a side note, sending hugs your way. I know how hard this must be. When it happened to me I felt like throwing up 🩷🩷🩷🩷