How to deal with this

Hi all, so how does everyone calmly talk with their husbands over the "whose days are harder" 😂 like I don't want it to be a fight or a battle over it. He says his days are harder and more stressful than mine are, which yes he has his own business and deals with lots of clients with his trade while I'm at home with our 7 week old baby.
Like yes, I see his side and I do agree that it's stressful, but he also can't look after our baby without having a hard time and can't see my side 😅 I'm sure a lot of you are in/have been in a similar situation.
I don't want it to be tit for tat, but rather just yes, both our days are hard, but he doesn't see it like that

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

Oh boy. Been there!!
You're both on the same team and you should both be doing what's best for your baby. Whose day is harder doesn't matter. You'll both have hard days and you'll both have easier days.
What's important is that you both show up for each other and for your baby.
Men are so friggin competitive when it doesn't matter.

Avatar

My husbands job is very physical & he comes home exhausted & then he helps out as much as he possibly can ...but, when your a SAHM your a Mum 24/7 every hour even if someone is on hand to offer help often Mum's take the lead in child care.
Sometimes I'd like to eat lunch with two hands, or go for a 💩 without my child hanging off me lol

It's not really comparable.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Avatar

3

6

My friend is over from another country but I don't feel like leaving the house

One of my old friend's is visiting where I currently live and we agreed to meet up today but I feel so tired and exhausted from everything that's been going on with me. I feel if I meet her I'm going to end up having another breakdown from the exhaustion which I have been having often. I'm just thinking about how I need to rest to be able to deal with my toddler and go back to work on Monday without feeling like I need another weekend. I'm torn on what to do so I need you guys to help me decide

Avatar

20

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Avatar

2

9

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Avatar

1

7

People telling you your baby is hungry..

I know people don’t always mean it in a bad way and are trying to relate, but when people say my baby is hungry when chewing his hands. I feed him regularly. He eats pretty much every 2 hours. He isn’t hungry, he just loves chewing and exploring his hands. Or they say something about teething, which it is also not, as he isn’t unsettled with it. I have looked into it myself and can be common and neither of those things! He has done it most of the day since 2 months old.

Avatar

6

4

Feeling like I’m failing

Hey guys, I need some advice or some positivity here!
My daughter is 5 months next week and she has her first tooth coming through! Yay! But for the past month or so she has become so wary of family whenever I go to visit! She screams, won’t settle, cries the whole time. I went for my birthday to celebrate and I had to leave because she just would cry looking at anyone :( it’s so hard because she used to be so good with anyone!

Will this change or is this just the way she is? I try to see them as often as I can, and my MIL is looking after her in two weeks overnight and part of a day and I’m petrified of what’s going to happen, that she’s going to scream. My poor MiL 😭. I’m a very calm and collected person and I don’t get worked up when she does react this way… I just feel so sad and down that I can’t be with family and that my poor girl is scared. I give her so many cuddles, milk, toys, going to a quiet room, but she just doesn’t settle 😭

Please someone say this is a phase and there is light at the end of the tunnel ?!!

With the weather getting nicer I just feel we are going to miss out on so many lovely family memories

Avatar

5

Read more on Peanut