Returning to work stillbirth mum
Hi everyone I’m in a bit of a situation and I dont know where to turn. My first baby was born sleeping at 33 weeks on 17th June so as you can imagine I’m just heartbroken. Work has been been very good about the situation, I worked in recruitment in the office full time throughout my pregnancy and everything changed so quickly when I caught an infection and my baby was born sleeping 💔 they’re paying me in full until end of the year which is so unheard of and supportive. I’m meant to return in January but my friend who works with me there is recently pregnant and her baby is due in march. Being around pregnant women breaks my heart at the minute I don’t think it’ll change until I have a baby on earth with me. My partner and I can try for our 2nd baby in November & being pregnant after what happened to Valencia will be so hard but I really want a baby down here with me so I will endure the anxiety for 9 months if it means having a baby in my arms at the end of it. I just don’t know what to do about work. If I’m pregnant in January which is ideal then I’m gonna be so badly anxious and on top of it have to watch her be excited and getting bigger while I’m terrified every day that the same thing will happen again to my 2nd. If I’m not pregnant by then I still have to watch her belly grow & hear everyone congratulate her. Everyone knows what happened to my baby. I don’t want to face it I don’t want to go back but I know I will have to keep busy & I suppose maternity pay for the next baby would be useful too. The money is good too but I just don’t care. This is a long old post but I just want to hear from other mums who have experienced baby loss about going back to work. Did you go back to your old jobs? 🤍
Show your support
@Karen thank you Karen. It’s such a rollercoaster :( big hugs to you and your partner. I might just not go back & see where it takes me especially if I’m pregnant. Will see how we go it’s all up to me but really good to hear from other women in the same position so thank you so much xx
Any time I don’t mind. I know how lonely, heartbreaking and devastating it is. It’s coming up to a year next month for us, which I can’t believe x
You’re not far long in to the journey, so big hugs to you both. Feel free to message anytime if you want to xx
Hi. I was so nervous. We lost our daughter at 21 weeks after TFMR, although she was born alive and we spent 3 hours with her before she died in daddy’s arms. I was scared of what people thought and also of catching an illness or being too hot at work which could impact a pregnancy. They made me do a occupational health referral to understand adjustments needed, but they didn’t actually follow through with them or understood. It sounds like your employer is supporting you, maybe you could ask to work from home or if there are any adjustments which can be made while you get used to everything again. If they allow hybrid working maybe you could go in on the days when your colleague isn’t working. It’s going to be hard. I found it really stressful but had to take it day by day. I felt like I was compromising a lot when I shouldn’t need to. Try not to worry about it too much(hard I know), just concentrate on healing as best as you can and putting your body in the best health to try again.x