Emotional cheating

@Amy I've thought about this, and I don't care about the ex, not do I feel insecure about them but what angers me and gets to me the most, is the humiliation

Yea he should have turned that phone off!!

Just sounds like you don’t trust him hun I think you need to do some thinking if this is what you really want, because either you are saying that he has feelings for his ex which you have always known about, and that’s why you’re worried, or he’s an untrustworthy person that you can’t even trust him around an ex from 10 years ago

@Jess he wouldn't tell me he's going to see her, he'll just do it anyway if he's going to do it

@Ali♈FL🌞 what can warrant talking to your ex on your honeymoon and hiding/lying about it?

I would tell him if he goes to see her you will tell the in laws if he says I don’t care than just tell them and say you don’t want him coming by to visit while she is staying there

People rarely go back to an ex cause it means it never worked out!

We're they cheating or just talking about old times??? because the past is the past and she is just an Ex.

@Kate they're not here to host her, they've gone abroad but they've got an empty house where she'll most likely be staying in whilst she's here

His parents might not know about the affair but surely they know she’s his ex? I think that’s enough to warrant your husband saying he isn’t comfortable with them hosting her and she needs to make alternative arrangements? If they do still host her, your husband doesn’t have to go visit does he? So he wouldn’t have to see his ex even if his parents do? X

@Amy yeh I've written Letters to him because I've thought that it's better written down so I can articulate my words better, I've spoken to him directly, I've suggested counselling and he's said no to that. I feel like he's unhappy too and I don't understand why we just don't part amicably. I feel like he's staying in this because of the kids and I've told him this before, that I'd rather separate now whilst I don't absolutely loathe you, rather than another 10 years later when my life will have been wasted completely

Oh I see. You sound unhappy in the relationship. Life is too short to be unhappy. Me and mine have been through stuff nothing like cheating but just him not thinking I guess and he’s come back stronger and better , affectionate loving and caring and we are so good now, 5 years and two kids later. I couldn’t imagine 10 years of unhappiness. Have you spoke to him? Suggested counselling ?

@Amy basically she was saying how things could have been different, and he was agreeing, also when I confronted him, he lied about who she was and finally when I pressed him on it, he admitted it. He hasn't done anything to replace that cheating if that makes sense? Like, he just behaves like a room mate. It's horrible even talking about it, tbh. I want too get loved and respected and cherished, I don't get any of those things from him and I keep thinking, maybe he would do it for her

@Amy basically she was saying how things could have been different, and he was agreeing, also when I confronted him, he lied about who she was and finally when I pressed him on it, he admitted it. He hasn't done anything to replace that cheating if that makes sense? Like, he just behaves like a room mate. It's horrible even talking about it, tbh. I want too get loved and respected and cherished, I don't get any of those things from him and I keep thinking, maybe he would do it for her

You haven’t given much away but he must have said some things to her that are really disrespectful to you. Cause if all he said was “I miss the good times” (you feelings are still valid) but I feel like you may have been able to get over it? What happened can you tell us? I think it depends how to go forward with this. And we would understand why you’re still struggling to move on. But if this is going to go on another 10 years it’s not worth it. Sometimes it’s not meant to be. You can find someone who shows you so much love and you will never doubt them.

@Amy honest to god I don't know how I've done it, there's been numerous times I've asked for divorce but he says we should try and make it work so I do, and then things will be going ok, and then something like this happens. I dont want to say I regret marrying him or I should've divorced him ages ago because I wouldn't have my kids then, but I'm really not in a loving marriage and it breaks my heart

@Jess the in laws don't know about their affair 😕

@Kianna the woman is my mils second cousins daughter. It's a very distant relation, but that connection is still there and enough for them to warrant turning up here. She has three kids and is coming down alone, leaving them with her husband

Wait how is your partners ex related to your partners mom…?

I think that is wrong of your in laws to let them stay with them and if they don’t see anything wrong with it he needs to not visit them to respect you while she is staying with them.

Wow 10 years of feeling this?! How did you do it… that’s a long time of resent. Do you think it was worth staying? Are you worried he still loves her? Or what are you worried about?

No he did it during our honeymoon ten years ago, sorry it wasn't clear. I've not been able to get over it, and felt like it's tainted our marriage right from the start, and now she's coming here and yes, they will see each other

Quite confusing. Your partner recently cheated by texting his ex about good times? And she’s coming to stay with your in laws meaning they will see each other?