Feeling shitty

My bub has not been the easiest since he was a baby... I'm losing my mind these days, I feel like I'm not present. I'm always irritated. I don't want to be like this. I'm being a horrible mum. --He doesn't like baths --Doesn't like to eat --Has never slept properly in the night --Wants to be held all the time, doesn't play on his own even for a minute --He is sick at the moment, fights and cries horribly to take medicine I'm only seeing the negatives in my baby. I had a horrible childhood ( narcissistic mother) and absent dad. I feel like I'm turning into my parents. I'm always irritated. I'm doing it all alone since he was 4 months, husband is in a different country. Is this ppd! I don't know what's happening
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I suggest finding a support group nearby! Talking can help so much. Also don’t forget to take time to yourself. Doing it alone is so hard. I’m here if you need to talk mama cut yourself some slack your baby is loved and cared for you’re doing great.

It's hard to have a baby who struggles. It WILL get better- some babies are just fussy and colicky. He may be able to sense your frustration as well and it becomes a cycle. Ppd can certainly be a factor, and being alone only amplifies it. I would work with your OBGYN to talk through how you're feeling. They should be able to help... do you have friends or other family in the area that can help give you a break or support?

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