Constantly feel stuck with SS
I want to start by saying I love my SS but I sometimes feel like my partner lumps him with me so he can do his own thing. Go out with mates, play football etc. We have a 10 month old together and I’ve just started back at work. My SS, 12, just wants to play computer games all the time and expects us to buy him stuff everytime he is here. He will constantly say he’s bored and wants to leave when we are at places, even my parents and they can hear him. His mum makes a lot of money but is never around so compensates with toys and games.
Last week I was off work with a sickness bug that my partner then got. I told him don’t get SS this weekend cause he will get it, partner said he wouldn’t and low and behold Sunday night SS was spewing everywhere, all over the bathroom and parts of the hall. He was meant to go home tonight, been over 48 hours now, but his mum refuses to have him. I can’t take time off and my partner has to be in at work tomorrow as he is the only one to open so SS is staying at ours all day by himself. My partner then has to take him home tomorrow night after work and we’ve picked our son and his 3 year old up from nursery. His mum won’t come get him because she is too busy working. I get that he isn’t my son so I don’t really have a say but I hate that I’m not included in decisions to do with my house. SS expects me to do everything but I’m so tired from work and being up with the 10 month old that I just want to slob about but I can’t. He also refuses to sleep in the room and prefers the living room so I can’t even get ready there in the morning like I usually do so I’m stuck trying to get me and the 10 month old ready on our bed.
I’m just so stressed and this is making it so much worse.
Show your support
More of a say if it’s to do with your house. Id voice this before it gets too much for you. You need some you time. It’s difficult being a step mum but you’re doing amazing remember that🫶🏻
I think it may be a good idea for SS to have a jobs list for stuff you want him to do? If he does this stuff he can be rewarded with pocket money to buy the things he wants when he’s with you? He can then have motivation to do jobs that he should be doing e.g tidy room, homework, hang up uniform etc but also have the value of money so he can’t demand things everytime he’s with you? Just an idea x
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Sounds like your getting overwhelmed with all the responsibility which is understandable, dad needs to step up a bit more. Also think you need a chat with dad, about his “preference” to sleep downstairs. He has a room to sleep in, he can’t run the roost to sleep in a family space or id just continue what you usually do and I’m sure he’d prefer to sleep in his own bed when you wake him up by getting ready! Speak to your partner, your his step mum yes but equally dad should be helping you more and like you say it’s your house too! You’re a team, you should be working together. You may not be his mum, but in our house we have a 4 month old and we want to aline how we raising our child the same as my SD can’t have one rule for one and different for another. I will treat my SD the same as I will my daughter, if my partner has ever disagreed with my decision he will talk to me when in private and it’s usually bc he thinks I’m too soft hahaha! When it comes to decisions you should have