Pregnancy and smoking

I'm so sorry to put such a negative post but I'm really struggling with this. My hormones are everywhere, I'm only 4 weeks pregnant and found out 4 days ago. The second I found out I stopped smoking obviously and will do throughout pregnancy, I did with baby 1 as well and managed so well until I stopped breastfeeding her but caved when I knew I was 'free' again. And now I'm pregnant with baby 2 and can't smoke, my husband still is and it's killing me. He goes outside, is no risk to baby and is trying to cut down himself. But it angers me so much that he can smoke and have a drink and go about life as normal whereas this is me for the next 9 months/year etc. I am so grateful to be pregnant but I feel like negative emotions are just taking over atm. I can't stop crying and hate evenings cause that's when me and my husband would sit and watch TV, nip outside for a smoke, just generally be relieved that baby 1 is in bed asleep haha. Now all I want to do is be on my own, avoid him and cry 🙈. Is there any other smokers on here that have quit and how are you coping? I know it's best for me bla bla bla but that really isn't helping me rn 😭. I thought about a nicotine free/purely flavoured air vape but I don't even wanna risk any vape/chemicals while I'm growing our little baby 🥺
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to be honest i smoke roll ups and was so stressed about stopping I use to roll a skinny fag and have 2/3 puffs and put it out, doctors dont shame you as the hight the blood pressure from stress dose more harm than a couple tokes

I wretch every time my husband comes near me after having a cigarette. He's promised to cut down and quit by November. Talking to your other half is the way forwards. He can't know you feel like this if you don't tell him. He's not a mind reader. Reality is, secondhand smoke is harmful for the baby too. The chemicals and toxins that stay on his skin, hair and clothes are not good for you baby 1 or baby 2.

Maybe suggest he try quitting too. Best way he can show his support and that you’re both in this together, especially if you’re feeling really down atm with the brutal first trimester hormones.

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