I yell too much.

I need advice. I yell a lot. Primarily at my child (who is 3 and in a very annoying stage of cause and effect, lol). I hate yelling, and i feel like such a horrible mom when i do. I dont even think about it, but sometimes the ONLY way my child will listen is if im getting angry and loud. I dont want to be this way. I have talked with my husband about us both needing to remove ourselves from situations and take a breath before reacting. This sounds great but its very hard to do in immediate situations like my toddler trying to smack the tv while im sitting breastfeeding my baby on the couch. Im looking for advice. I can go days being good and not yelling much because im really trying hard and then it all kinda reverts back. I dont want my children to think im a mean mom. My husband says im a mean mom sometimes. My toddler has started saying "Sorry mama" in times that he hasnt even done anything wrong. I ask him "Why?" And tell him he doesnt have a reason to be sorry. But it makes me think that he thinks hes in trouble all the time? I want to be better. I want to be more patient. Im a stay at home mom and my husband works from 9am-9pm. I generally start getting very overwhelmed/overstimulated around dinner time and i have absolutely no outlet. Someone always needs me. My toddler is always doing something destructive. Idk what to do with myself.
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I feel the same way! But I feel when I don't get good sleep it starts soon as everyone is awake. My 4yo and 2yo just straight up don't listen at all. They started at 6am today. I'm already frustrated I can't even go to the bathroom without them pushing through the door.

Be kind to yourself in your head I promise it makes a difference. Sounds like the vicious cycle I catch myself in sometimes too. Tell yourself something positive everyday and the 3yo too. Point out the good behavior more than the bad and the tables will start to turn.

Read this book: how to talk so little kids will listen Think about whether maybe it's PPA? I'm not saying it is, but maybe it is. Cooking dinner is always stressful. Brainstorm ideas on how to make it easier. Batch cook on weekends (get hubby to watch kids)? Frozen meals? Only cook every second night so you just cook double portions? Think of meals you can make one handed eg chicken in the air fryer, frozen veg in the microwave, rice or pasta.

Toddlers have almost zero impulse control. Whenever you're busy doing something, how about you give him an activity to keep him busy? Such as coloring or play doh or even a few minutes of TV while you breastfeed?

Ladies, we are all in the same boat. It's not easy breaking generational habits. You're doing great, and it's going to take time and practice. Have grace with yourself and always strive to be better than yesterday. I was a reactive parent, still am somedays, but breathing before reacting has helped. I just tell myself, when he sees my reaction... that's what I'm teaching him. If I'm yelling I'm teaching him to yell, if I'm calm I'm teaching him to be calm. Be patient with yourself, you're doing great.

Could be attention seeking behavior. Emotional regulation takes some time to be good at. I still flip out sometimes. Sometimes I bribe or threaten to take something away. Sometimes I just talk with her. When the baby naps spend time with him. Involve him with cooking, or washing dishes (I just give a few dishes with soap and water and she just has fun with the bubbles) or give him tasks to help you clean, it'll keep him busy and feel involved.

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