Drop in supply breast milk. Mum guilt

Needing a space to vent, let my feelings out. My breastfeeding journey is about to end because my supply is basically non-existent. I feel sadness, guilt, anxiety and frustration. I will start by saying I didn’t have high hope for a successful breastfeeding journey. With my first child I couldn’t breastfeed as my daughter would not latch at all. She was born premature and has low muscle tone. I started off pumping when she was in NICU but then my supply couldn’t keep up and it dried when I introduced formula. My father-in-law made me feel terrible about it and said I was depriving his grandchild of breastmilk. With my new baby, one of the first things he asked was whether this baby was breastfeeding well. I don’t know why he’s so obsessed with how we’re breastfeeding. It’s great his pro breastfeeding but his previous comments havie given me anxiety. My new baby’s latch has always been shallow and she wouldn’t feed for long. After a short while she would fall asleep. So I’ve been combi-feeding since her birth. The health visitor reckoned her latch would become stronger by 6 weeks but I was seeing no change. So last week (baby is now 6 weeks) I got in touch with a tongue tie practitioner for assessment. The health visitor said she thought baby didn’t have a tongue tie but I wasn’t convinced. The Tongue tie professionals came and low and behold she had one. Tie was snipped so I was hopefully things would improve but they unfortunately haven’t. Now my supply is dropping drastically. I pumped tonight and barely got 30mls. I feel sad because although my baby doesn’t have a deep latch and doesn’t feed for long, I feel some sense of bond when we do breastfeed. When she is hungry she does turn towards my breasts which makes me feel so guilty as barely anything is there and it has never sustained her. I’m also anxious at the comments my father in law will say. That said, my daughter is thriving on formula and that’s all I can ask for. If you’ve read this far, thanks for reading.
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No it doesn't. I have to give a bottle with it. But it comforts her and she gets a little bit. I like the bonding experience of it too so for me it's worth keeping it going

@Holly thank you! Do you find the one feed you do sustains your baby? I tried feeding her a few hours ago on the breast and she was crying because not much came out 😞

I combi feed as my breastmilk supply was never enough for my hungry baby! I do one feed a day on the breast, and I still give a bottle with it too. I read that the baby still gets the benefits of breastfeeding even doing it that little amount. That being said, I still feel guilty almost everyday that I should do more. I've been doing it like this for about 2-3 weeks now and I still have my milk.

Thank you for your comments ladies. I’m going to give bf another big push.

I'm considering getting an appt with private tongue tie specialist too and I've read that post division exercises are important- I'm sure you already know about them, but it not have a Google. Don't let the amount you're expressing determine whether you continue feeding or not. If you and baby are happy and they have enough wet and dirty nappies then continue if that's what you want. I will say though that I felt so guilty when I stopped breastfeeding my first for various reasons, she was formula fed from quite early on. She's almost 4 and is thriving- we have the best connection/relationship and she's thriving in herself- no one would know how she was fed as a baby!

I cannot, for the love of God, get more than 30ml on a pumping session now and I had times I was pumping 110 in one go. Things change and that's okay. The amount of milk you pump is not what baby is getting as they are more effective compared to a pump. Keep her engaged and awake while pumping. And remember of you go down the formula route - it's still you feeding her and providing her with food. You are doing great!

@Lucy this. Some people can't pump at all but baby is fine on the breast.

Have you tried pumping at different times of the day. By the evening your supply drops. I am able to feed my baby through the night but If I Pump after around 9 not getting much versus if I pump morning and through the day xx

Just because you’re only pumping 30ml doesn’t mean you baby isn’t getting milk. Are you getting lots of wet and dirty nappies?

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