Please don’t judge!

Im 21 and I’ve been with my boyfriend for five and a half years known each other for ten and we have a 9 month old son together. He cheated during my pregnancy when I was 7 months along saying it was because he lost his job and I demeaned him "as a man" I was heartbroken. I still went to my seminars/ lectures and work as if i was fine let up with friends etc while we split and that was hard for me because we had lived together and being pregnant…yeah it got a lot. During that time I rekindled with an old secondary friend, he’s changed now a lot and I would have fantasies about having sex with him/being with him in all type of different sexual scenarios. I blamed the thoughts on me being hormonal and pregnant because I was craving sex so much. I realised I was emotionally cheating and even though my "boyfriend" had full on fucked another girl on 6 occasions I felt bad because we had said we’d make it work for the sake of having a two parent household for stability. Anyways fast forward to after giving birth I just lost all my feelings towards him. And I’ve noticed a lot of the backhanded comments he makes which is amazing to me because he’s not worked in over a year and a half but calls me all types of lazy fat and transactional. Even getting his mum to chime in calling me cheap bitter and undeserving all because I said he needs to go half and half with me for rent and bills and actually meet that quota because I’m struggling financially. Before it was fine because I was working so him not having a job was hard but manageable but now I’m struggling again we fight lots, stopped going therapy and he calls me a man all because I refuse to move into his mums (who lives 6 hours away!!!) A few days ago the secondary school friend I had blocked last year messaged and since then it’s been getting flirty and I’m starting to have those fantasies again but I’m not sure if it’s because I’m still really hormonal or idk my relationship is a fail so I’m looking for an escape. Is it wrong for me to want to end the relationship now and go explore the world or what?

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Focussing you and your son sounds like a lovely idea ☺️ hope the flossing gets sorted soon

Well ladies, yesterday I told my boyfriend we needed a break and I texted the other guy and we were going to go for a meal then a pipe burst in the bathroom behind the sink and flooded my kitchen, bathroom and landing 🤣 I have to laugh or I’ll cry because now my house is a hot mess and I’m taking it as a sign to just focus on myself and my son but thank you for all the advice and opinions I really appreciate it🤍🤍

Why on gods Green earth are you still with this creature of a man in the first place. the cheating aside, he treats you terribly! He’s mentally abusing you, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. You’re not a bad person for having sexual fantasies either, I wouldn’t even say that’s emotional cheating but I suppose it depends on someone’s boundaries

You should totally start listening to the Dr John deloney show on YouTube! He is very wise about marriages in chaos and being abusive.

Drop him and explore the world girl! You deserve happiness!

I suggest dating the man you are fantasizing about. And actually want to be with

Sorry to say this relationship sounds awful even if you still had feelings for baby daddy I wouldn't even vaguely advise sticking with someone who feels it's ok to blame you in such a manner for him being a dick and cheating!? Let alone all the other stuff It's not even cheap to expect half and half on bills etc It's basic His mum also sucks Even just being by yourself with your wonderful new baby is a good idea to get steady before anything new (although definitely keep up the flirting if it helps you feel good just baby and you first)

I was 21 when I gave birth. I can definitely say I left mentally before I’m leaving physically. And I’ve been happier. I know you guys are still in the same home. But you don’t have to force communication with him. On top of that, I’ve definitely learned that we are still young and there are still people that would involve themselves with us, despite us having a child. I was told that before I told people. I didn’t believe it until I took that leap. And I’ve continued to learn about myself and what I want. You don’t have to be stuck. Set your boundaries. Go back to therapy for yourself and your child. You have to be your best self for your baby. It’s okay to start over. 🤍

Start by not comparing the two. Stick to only thinking with or without the current guy

Just leave and focus on u and ur kid

F your baby dad. Go on and start a new. I relate. I was 21 when I had my first. Left for similar reasons. You can go seek out new. U dont have to stay hearing his shit wasting years of ur life just cause y’all have a baby. Go find better for u and ur baby

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