Advice

So I am a stay at home mom of one, i have a house to upkeep and live alone. I don’t have many socializing opportunities and most of my friends have grown a part. Lot of people moved , work, and/or have older kids. I myself have moved less than a year ago. Sometimes when I talk to people I feel like i end up talking too much. When someone mentions something I can relate too, i end up adding my story too because I enjoy sharing and I like talking. I sometimes get so excited to talk i overshare or interrupt. Maybe its worse in my head than I actually think. Sometimes I call my close friends to check in but sometimes I just call or pick up when I’m having a bad day. A hard parenting day, family stress, money stress, so many things. I am in therapy but an hour a week hardly even seems enough to chat. I get so excited to talk i do too much and i am more Chatty drinking caffeine which i do to try to keep up with toddler. I want to talk but i also want to make friends. I often notice after the fact I made these social missteps. Any suggestions on how I can get out my chattyness while still being a good conversationalist?

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2 days ago

@Ina you get it :)

2 days ago

Thanks for tips. I am working on the not interrupting sometimes its just to ask questions but i know it’s distracting

2 days ago

My friend interrupts and it’s extremely annoying. I would say that’s the only one thing you really need to work on

2 days ago

@Bibi🇿🇼 💯 Sometimes you just have to find your complimentary personality people 😁 Also, sharing similar stories is a very normal way to relate to others in conversation.

2 days ago

I have a close friend like this. And I’m not much of a talker, so I just let her talk endlessly It’s not necessarily a bad thing as long as you also listen when your friends talk

3 days ago

I find myself doing the same. Always have, try not too

3 days ago

@Valerie thanks for tips. I try to do that. I feel I was better before I had my kid at having more balanced conversations. I try to ask questions, probably need to talk less about their story reminding of my story. And just share separate. I think its my attempt at relating but probably comes off as one upping

3 days ago

It takes a savy person to catch themselves and admit to overtalking/one upping/interrupting! So good for you! I was taught very young (and I'm trying to also teach my girls), "Listen to hear, not reply." It's easier said than done... especially if something the other person says "reminds you of... >insert your story<" or "oh, I've been there too... >insert your story<", etc. You have to consciously listen to what they are saying. After you listen, ask them a few questions about what they said, or repeat back to them something they said that you found interesting or made you think. It's a good exercise to slow yourself down from jumping right in and forces you to be present with the other person. And it will make them feel like you are paying attention/taking interest. 😊

3 days ago

Thank you ladies. I always leave a conversation thinking I am conversation hog and thats why i dont have more current friends 🫣

3 days ago

Same! I am excited to talk to anybody other than my kids ))) don’t feel bad, nothing wrong with that. I can relate to everything you just said. The more you talk the better the chance you click with that person

3 days ago

I also talk a lot since I’m a sahm. I don’t have friends so I’m just happy to talk to anyone except children that barley understand what I’m talking about. You’re not alone.

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