Mil being a monster again. The drama gets juicier and juicier.
We're going out of town so that my in laws can see our son for the first time. And me and my MIL haven't really gotten along well. She ruined my wedding while I was pregnant by being weird towards my mom and making everything about race she's a white woman who adopted black children mixed children and other white children.
She made a comment about the table her and her family sat at being the all white table around my predominantly black family and told us a story about how she almost bought a shirt with monkey's on it for our unborn son and luckily my SIL stopped her.
She completely ignored my postpartum requests for me and my husband to have two weeks to ourselves and for her to get a hotel or Airbnb when she came. She TOLD us that she was going to come stay with us so that she could have one on one time with our newborn son. We told her no.
She managed to book a flight days before the other inlaws were scheduled to be in town which means she'd have to be on our couch.
The icing on the cake was that she would go through my husband to ask about how I was doing or ask questions about anything pertaining to my pregnancy. We'd been together three years and this lady had both my phone number and social medias.
While I was delivering she called my husband to ask how things were going and he has to tell her to ask me herself. After bleeding out on the surgery table and having complications with my birth and c section she texts my husband asking if she could come early because I ended up delivering earlier than expected when he told her no she then texted me and asked me.
While I was fresh off the table. The only reason she didn't end up coming or staying with us or intruding on us and completely stressing me out during my postpartum experience is because she had a fall so she couldn't come.
Fast forward my son's 4, months old now and we're less than two weeks away from our trip there she paid for the hotel for us which is sweet but it always comes with a cost. We'll video call them every other day so they can see him they never call us for anything. If I don't text them they don't text me.
If I don't call them they don't call me. I had month long periods of trying to reach out and show that I'm committed to building a relationship but I gave up after realizing it was one sided.
Also my MIL lied and told my husband that she feels like I don't like her and she always calls and I never answer. I had to turn pull out call logs and text messages to defend myself. Anyways I don't forgive her for making my pregnancy and birth AND postpartum experience about herself. But it seemed like we really turned a corner with us being cordial at least.
But I was sadly mistaken. Yesterday she tells us she's coming up to spend Christmas with us and the baby. We already had plans for us to spend the first Christmas together with JUST us. And how she wants to come up every 3 months to see him. My husband just flat out says no.
We have to plan these things you can't just tell me what your going to do. And she immediately flips it like he said he didn't want her around him. Then she flips it on him and says well her family gets to see him all the time (they don't) she then has him turn the camera to me and she says he said I have to schedule a appointment to see my grandchild.
I said very politely no I think what he meant was he works and he needs to check his schedule and see when he's off before you go and start making plans. She said oh I don't care about that. I want to see my grandson. This is the exact attitude she took on during my entire pregnancy birth and postpartum experience.
Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch I wouldn't have a problem with her coming out to see him every three months if she went about it RESPECTFULLY.
If she asked instead of telling us what she was going to do. If she wasn't so entitled and selfish about everything. Not only that but we don't have that kind of relationship where I feel comfortable with being around her alone with my son.
But I could look past all of that and allow it if she showed ANY consideration towards me. If she didn't make everything about her and what she wants. Then get passive aggressive when she doesn't get her way.
She's also really weird about my husband she constantly says that she gets jealous when my mom (his mil) calls him son in her posts and comments on his page because SHE'S his mom not her. Also her begging to see my son's butt birthmark. She gets really weird about babies. I already want this trip to be over. I genuinely don't know what to do at this point.