Mil being a monster again. The drama gets juicier and juicier.

We're going out of town so that my in laws can see our son for the first time. And me and my MIL haven't really gotten along well. She ruined my wedding while I was pregnant by being weird towards my mom and making everything about race she's a white woman who adopted black children mixed children and other white children.

She made a comment about the table her and her family sat at being the all white table around my predominantly black family and told us a story about how she almost bought a shirt with monkey's on it for our unborn son and luckily my SIL stopped her.

She completely ignored my postpartum requests for me and my husband to have two weeks to ourselves and for her to get a hotel or Airbnb when she came. She TOLD us that she was going to come stay with us so that she could have one on one time with our newborn son. We told her no.

She managed to book a flight days before the other inlaws were scheduled to be in town which means she'd have to be on our couch.

The icing on the cake was that she would go through my husband to ask about how I was doing or ask questions about anything pertaining to my pregnancy. We'd been together three years and this lady had both my phone number and social medias.

While I was delivering she called my husband to ask how things were going and he has to tell her to ask me herself. After bleeding out on the surgery table and having complications with my birth and c section she texts my husband asking if she could come early because I ended up delivering earlier than expected when he told her no she then texted me and asked me.

While I was fresh off the table. The only reason she didn't end up coming or staying with us or intruding on us and completely stressing me out during my postpartum experience is because she had a fall so she couldn't come.

Fast forward my son's 4, months old now and we're less than two weeks away from our trip there she paid for the hotel for us which is sweet but it always comes with a cost. We'll video call them every other day so they can see him they never call us for anything. If I don't text them they don't text me.

If I don't call them they don't call me. I had month long periods of trying to reach out and show that I'm committed to building a relationship but I gave up after realizing it was one sided.

Also my MIL lied and told my husband that she feels like I don't like her and she always calls and I never answer. I had to turn pull out call logs and text messages to defend myself. Anyways I don't forgive her for making my pregnancy and birth AND postpartum experience about herself. But it seemed like we really turned a corner with us being cordial at least.

But I was sadly mistaken. Yesterday she tells us she's coming up to spend Christmas with us and the baby. We already had plans for us to spend the first Christmas together with JUST us. And how she wants to come up every 3 months to see him. My husband just flat out says no.

We have to plan these things you can't just tell me what your going to do. And she immediately flips it like he said he didn't want her around him. Then she flips it on him and says well her family gets to see him all the time (they don't) she then has him turn the camera to me and she says he said I have to schedule a appointment to see my grandchild.

I said very politely no I think what he meant was he works and he needs to check his schedule and see when he's off before you go and start making plans. She said oh I don't care about that. I want to see my grandson. This is the exact attitude she took on during my entire pregnancy birth and postpartum experience.

Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch I wouldn't have a problem with her coming out to see him every three months if she went about it RESPECTFULLY.

If she asked instead of telling us what she was going to do. If she wasn't so entitled and selfish about everything. Not only that but we don't have that kind of relationship where I feel comfortable with being around her alone with my son.

But I could look past all of that and allow it if she showed ANY consideration towards me. If she didn't make everything about her and what she wants. Then get passive aggressive when she doesn't get her way.

She's also really weird about my husband she constantly says that she gets jealous when my mom (his mil) calls him son in her posts and comments on his page because SHE'S his mom not her. Also her begging to see my son's butt birthmark. She gets really weird about babies. I already want this trip to be over. I genuinely don't know what to do at this point.

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding