Should husband stay home from work to look after baby if I’m sick?

I wouldn’t ask my hubby to stay. Sounds like an important meeting and I wouldn’t want his work to be affected or him be judged for missing such a busy work day. We all get sick, it sucks but it’s part of life. We just get on with the day as mums, tv, snacks, drawing and trying to get through the day. I don’t think it’s fair to guilt trip him, I’m sure if it wasn’t a busy day he could stay.

I agree with above personally and I have been ill many times with 2 under 2. Unless I was totally bed ridden and felt I couldn't physically look after them safely it would be the only reason.

And what are your expectations of/for him when he stays at home because you’re ill? I just don’t ever think it’s reasonable for us as adults to take away from household income because of a temperature or cold.. and especially knowing it’s a very important meeting where a senior member has to travel out to have it, it wouldn’t be putting your partner in a great light. It’s a flu/cold.. there’s no days off as a SAHM unfortunately and unless it’s really extremely bad I wouldn’t even consider putting my partner in a compromising situation

I don’t ask my partner, it takes away a day from him or can really mess things up. He’s allowed family days but generally they are used for our thirds hospital appointments. So if mummy is sick we have a movie day and soft play o it so I can do little bit they are happy. If needed I still have to do the school/nursery runs too. He also has a meeting, he can’t miss it and there would be consequences Unfortunately being a SAHM you don’t really get sick days

My expectation is that he’d look after our daughter so that I could rest in bed. I am really struggling to do anything with our girl, to pay attention properly, to focus, I have the worst headache and just need to lie down. If he had a fever on this super important day, would he go in and just shiver in the office? Probably not. So is his health more important than mine? If something did happen because I’m not as alert as I would be without the fever (for example daughter reaches for something dangerous and I don’t notice because I feel absolutely wiped out… would he then still think “ah well at least I saw the senior guy!”)

If he had the same symptoms, would he have the day off work? Because looking after your daughter is your work, and if youre too sick to do it properly then you need help. Is there anyone else close by who could look after your daughter for the day?

@Megan absolutely he’d have a day off work. It’d be impossible to sit in the meeting with chills and shivering I’m pretty sure

This is a bit difficult. Personally, my husband would take the day off or at least find someone to stay with me. Y’all are supposed to help each other through sickness and health. Support each other. At the end of the day, YOU are more important than his job. He can take a sick day and reschedule the meeting. I BET, if it were the other way around, he would expect you to take off work to let him rest.

I’ve been ill many times, I’ve also had 3 surgeries since my baby was born and each time she’s been in the hospital with me and I’ve looked after her so my haha fb can work. what’s the point in hubby losing money and putting his job at risk? Take some medication drink plenty of fluids and get in with it unfortunately is the way to go xx

Yes he should stay home. His work unless super unreasonable should not dock pay for a single day sick - neither mine nor my husband's do. Your child is the priority. If you worry you can't keep them safe because you feel so unwell then it's a no-brainer!

Not for flu. My oh has been a work despite having a bad back and barely being able to walk and a tooth infection where he could barely talk or eat. I do however expect him to take a half day to go with me to my sons school for a very important meeting.

I mean if he was the sick one, he would have no choice but to stay home. But I bet that would come with so much negative feelings like guilt, nervousness, anxiety about missing such a important day and meeting. At least you can stay home somewhat rest (on the sofa) without these feelings. As I said we all get sick and some of us have multiple children but we just deal with it.

There’s definitely a double standard here which I personally find very difficult as a sahm. My husband had an operation last year, 2 weeks off work, he was in moderate pain, he lay in bed I brought him meals etc. I had an operation on my back this year in March, was in severe pain, but I didn’t get any extra support. Still had to get up every day and be full time mum. Put on nerve medication which triggered my mental health. Caused a huge argument between me and my husband as I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t take at least 1 day off to help me.

Does he get sick pay?

Whether we like it or not, work plays a huge role in our lives. Missing important work meetings unless literally impossible to attend is not a good look.

No pay would be deducted for it. It’s an office job with sick pay. The worst consequence of missing the day would be the embarrassment that this dude had to travel down for a meeting that didn’t go ahead. But that’s life! Sometimes things happen outside of our control

Yes HE gets sick pay… he’s not sick. Unfortunately missing that meeting could be a big deal.

Yes definitely. My partner had the flu, took 2 days off work and then I caught it a few days later so he took 1 day off whilst I recovered. It's not my fault that I'm a SAHM and don't get paid sick leave, why should I suffer!?

@Ellie I agree! Some people really prioritize work over their partners and I think that’s sad.

I’m glad somebody said something supportive and less guilt trippy @@Megan! As women whether STAHM or not it’s just like you ALWAYS have the bulk of the work and are expected to just deal. I’m sure if you weren’t in a poor condition enough to even want him to stay home, you wouldn’t. It’s unfortunate that your sick during an important meeting. Can he make the meeting and come home early, maybe finish remotely … what are the options here other than you just have to deal. Because if you feel like you can’t properly care for your kids in your condition you need assistance. Is there anyone else you can call ? I don’t think you should just deal which is written all in the comments and I do think him making the meeting is important. Just wondering what’s the compromise here.

@Kassia I know! I understand that they may worry but they can't be fired for taking a sick day to look after their own child. Especially if mum is too unwell to actually look after the child properly!

@Lee yeah compromise is key! If he can pop in for the meeting and then come home, that would be best!

I agree @Ellie ! And the compromise shouldn’t be just deal. When did that become the standard for women… moms !?

@Ellie she said the meeting is all day. He would have to go in the whole day. To me, I think it’s just one day and one meeting. It’s important but maybe tomorrow he can take the day off.

@Amy ah balls I missed that bit! How on earth can a meeting last all day!? 😱 Either way, poor mum. It's rough being ill with a baby!

@Ellie exactly! You cannot control what happens in life. You can only do the best you can while prioritizing what is most important to you. I have worked too many jobs where I have let them take over my life and become a priority. I will never do that again. It took me years to understand what is actually important. Jobs come and go, but your family is always there with you. Make sure you prioritize them and treat them well.

Personally, no I have always stayed with them while sick because my partner does support us financially and he saves his sick time and vacation time for when he’s sick (so he can still get money ti pay bills) and our trips! we like to do lots of stuff as a family, The only time my partner is taking off time to take care of her kids when I’m sick is when I’ve been in the hospital And I know if the roles were reversed, and I was the breadwinner he would stay home with the kids, even though he was sick and still care for them, Personally, when I’m sick as when we do lazy days with lots of screen time and snacks, movies with mom in bed, and for the occasion where I’m stuck in the bathroom either throwing up, or wanting to sit in the bath, the kids climb in the bathroom with me! Lol

No

Honestly no, because if it was him who was ill he would most likely still be going to work, him going to work is him providing for the household is just as valuable as your role as a SAHM, theyre both jobs, if he doesnt go to work his pay would suffer and therefore the house would suffer, and even if he gets sick days, its better to take them when it is absolutely needed rather than just cos you have the flu,

I don’t think people realise what real flu is 😂😂?? I have only had the flu twice in my life and I was completely bed bound, my body would not allow me to move… absolutely 1000% he should stay at home. The same as if he had the flu and was a SAHD I would take the day off and allow him to rest. We both have important jobs where we cannot miss things, but family is important and comes first every time.

Idk if someone has already mentioned this but if y’all can afford it then ya he should stay and help

I think if it's just one sick day or it won't affect bills then yes! I caught the flu off my son and today was the hardest parenting day by far! So unwell, hardly had the energy to look after my little man. Hubby is working from home tomorrow so he can be around to help in between work! So lucky he is able to work from home! Xx

@Peanut User she’s in the UK, so they have more vacation and sick days than American jobs. It is also MUCH more difficult to fire people in the UK than in the U.S. I’m American and live in the UK. I previously was an operations manager for a New York company before moving. I couldn’t even take a sick day for myself. Not kidding. I had an E. coli infection in my intestines, 102°F fever, dizzy, couldn’t eat or drink and I was still expected to work. My husband literally called my boss and asked for them to give me a few days off because I was so sick. Their response was to call me and ask me to do more work. I told them I was unable to call anyone due to having such a weak voice. They said I could have Friday off. It was a Tuesday. TUESDAY!! However, here, it is different. If you take a sick day, people are generally more understanding than in the US. If you’re sick, you’re sick.