God’s Gift? I Don’t Need This!

I’m so sick and tired of men who think they are God’s gift to women. I’ve been seeing one for almost two years. We have our own homes, this I AM grateful. But my story goes like this: I’ve known this man for 20 years. We have been very close friends the whole time. We have fooled around in the past but it didn’t last. About a year after his last toxic relationship we picked things back up again. This time actually saying those three little words in the heat of passion and drunkenness. First of all I shouldn’t be drinking at all since I’m a recovering alcoholic. But sometimes I do with only him. Already toxic here. He gets really horny when he’s drunk so I don’t trust him because he is always drunk unless he is working. I know he had sex with someone else on one of his days off a few weeks ago because I could smell it on him when I went to see him after work. I told him that I’m done and put my things I have over there in a trash bag and leave. I also found messages from an app that he is still in touch and sexting his last toxic girlfriend but wants to hang out with him in March. He even told my friend that he has so many women that want him. He spends my money, saying he’ll pay me back, but never does. He expects me to go to his place all the time and at like crazy hours, my fault, like 3AM before I workout so he can have some. I’ve bought his booze, stocked his fridge, buy him stuff on Amazon he needs for the house, paid for our meals out (he has a few times but not the majority), I even let him live with me for five months when his house was destroyed by fire until it was built again. He would pay me $600 a month like he was doing me a favor. I was in the hole every month with him there. I did all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. Why has it taken this long for me to figure things out? I just received a Snapchat from him saying that he will be waiting on me in the morning at his place. Well I won’t be there. Especially after you texted me on your day off that you would have coffee at my place the next morning. No call, no show, no text to say you couldn’t make it. Nothing. I just don’t understand how he even thinks this is okay. I know it’s my fault for allowing it to happen in the first place. But I’m over it and over him. I don’t want to make him upset because we work together in the same office building so I’ll just keep making up excuses until he gets the hint. Why has it taken this long? I’m a fool. I should’ve run at the very first sign.
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It’s true, bad things are even worse when you add alcohol to an alcoholic. You get high/drunk cuz you have no food in the fridge, and when you come down/to- someone’s stolen your fridge! Sounds like you’ve got some binge-drinking happening. I highly suggest finding a local support group, maybe a sponsor/recovery coach. Fitness isn’t all about the body; strive to be fit mind, spirit, AND body. I’m not just blowing smoke. I’ve been sober 12 years. I wish you peace in your journey.

Genia, it comes and goes. I could visit him everyday for two weeks and not have a drop but then fall off the wagon hard for four days and back on again. I agree with you completely. But on my own I don’t want to partake in ANY drinking. All,it does is cause bad things to happen and ruins my fitness goals.

Hi, Lily. What caught my eye is ‘I’m a recovering alcoholic’, but you only drink with him. Booze is stealthy; an obsession, a disease of the mind. If you aren’t putting your recovery first, healing yourself, realizing you are valuable and worthy of a loving, joyful and fulfilling life - everything else will be chaos and drama.

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