Am I a bad mum
My baby is 11 weeks and I absolutely adore him! He has terrible reflux, hates being on his back, only plays sometimes throughout the day but other than that, he gets really tired and just wants to feed and sleep. I do try take him out whether it’s running errands, having a mooch around shops or going to a cafe. And when he is awake I always sing, talk to him, show him different things and he’s smiling and babbling back. He also cries when I’m not in the room with him so going to the bathroom has been quite difficult. I’m currently doing this whole parenthood by myself whilst my husband works away from us and at first I thought I could do it but now I’m feeling a tremendous amount of pressure and strain on myself. I can’t help but compare myself to these mum influencers who somehow have it together, who constantly take their babies out, who have a million and one things planned for them to do and get I am struggling to get through the day.
Most days, my baby just wants to be on me (I exclusively breastfeed) so we either spend most of the day in bed or on the sofa, and he loves contact napping so that’s what we do as that’s the only way he’ll sleep during the day. I feel guilty that he sleeps because a part of me thinks he should be awake and playing but then another part of me is like he’s only 11 weeks, still new to this world so him sleeping a lot is fine. The nights have become disastrous too - he only used to get up twice for a feed but now his reflux is causing him great discomfort so he’s up every hour squirming in pain and the only way he’ll sleep is on me so that’s affected my sleep too, and I do get irritated but for him I’d do anything to make him feel comfortable. I don’t have much of a routine, the only routine I have is taking him up at 8pm each night and getting him ready for bed which consists of changing nappy, a massage, into his pjs, and then a feed and cuddle before transferring him into his crib with some days are a success and others like these past few nights, aren’t. I feel like our ‘daily’ life is boring compared to other mums and their babies and I don’t know why I’m feeling like this. I basically feel like a bad mum for not doing much with him.
Can you please give any advice to help me at any part? Apologies for the long post, I just needed this off my chest.