in November 2023 Babies 🇬🇧

Feeling like a failure

Why is this so hard? I’m 17 days PP. up until day 14 LG was wonderful, a textbook easy baby. Since then she cries every night. Sometimes from 4-5 o’clock until 11 when she finally goes down. We are lucky in that she is a good sleeper overnight - I have to wake her for feeds - but the evenings are becoming almost impossible. Im sure she is cluster feeding and I understand why she needs this but it makes it almost impossible to have a break. My partner is doing everything he can to support me but he’s finding it just as tough, and a knock on him that he can’t help our LG more to give me a break. We’ve tried bottles with expressed milk but it never settles her or soothes her. Currently sat in a dark bedroom alone with her either on my breast or fussing and crying when she takes herself off it, feeling like a complete failure and not sure I can do this. Just needed to get this off my chest, it’s just so hard.

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Sounds like you aren't producing enough milk to keep her happy. Have her on the boob as much as you can, and hopefully your supply will catch up and she'll settle again. Babies milk intake can increase quite dramatically, hence why this is probably happening now. I know you've tried bottles, however maybe try a different bottle? Faster/ slower flow, different teat, babies can be really fussy with bottles until you find something they like. It is hard, the first couple months are the hardest though, and you'll get through it. You are not a failure, you're a mum doing her best, you'll get there xx

Also, just a thought but could she be tired? Newborns need a lot of sleep and sometimes need help sleeping (memories of bouncing my firstborn for hours to ensure she slept and not stopping as she'd instantly wake up 🤣).

I have never related to anything so much in my life!!! I’m also 18 days pp and up until 3 days ago our LG was the same & is now cluster feeding. Last night from 18:30-2am it took to settle.. bottle, change nappy, cry, bottle.. never ending cycle. it’s draining. I’ve cried so many tears not knowing if I’m doing anything wrong. Spoke to midwife today who confirmed it’s totally normally.. but how long does this go on for?!😩 all I know is, we got this girl! Stay strong💕

@Kayleigh milk production isn’t an issue I express as well as breastfeed and she takes bottles of 80-120ml and breastfeeding is strong. She is piling on the weight and the nappies speak for themselves, the only thing that seems to soothe her in the evenings is being on the breast, even when full to bursting, she wants it for comfort. She takes the bottle fine, guzzles it and has the breast as well so it’s not the bottles.

@Melissa it’s just so hard! I’ve never been so emotional in my life! Cluster feeding is so tough, i just hope it ends soon! I’m glad I’m not alone - thank you!

Your honestly not alone in this💕 keep doing amazing xx

I’m in the same boat over here too - baby was born 1st November & the cluster feeding cycle is relentless & so draining x

Our poppy is like that. She’s on formula and going thru a growth spurt currently 18 days old. We have a grizzly stage for a few hours each day where she just wants to be held but what we’ve found is these stages have become earlier in the day and not at night x

So I think it’s them adjusting xx

My son was exactly like this, he had colic. Can try infacol see if that helps. It's hard but it is just a phase and it will ease. You're doing great mumma

You’ve all got this- honestly!!! It is so hard but it WILL get easier ♥️♥️♥️

Sounds like you're doing an amazing job. Your baby is thriving and you are absolutely not failing 💛 Everyone says it gets easier and I think you're absolutely right about it being cluster feeding which doesn't last long. These few weeks are so, so hard, you've got this.

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