Let her play victim and then cut her off. It'll be her own doing. You and your baby come before her and her selfish wants and needs x
@Billie exactly!!! She is being very irrational. I know soon she will start to play victim. I already see it, but I wonāt allow it because I wonāt let her take from my experience as a first time mom, so she can be happy.
@Nina exactly! Thank you!!! She went and bought all of those things without even asking first, and after my partner telling her she kept acting like she didnāt hear him. She is so entitled already š„“ I was told today Iām going to be induced soon and me and my partner made the decision to not tell her or his sisters, because of the pressure they would put on us and the way they would act if they had a day. My partner asked me why I listen to her if i know, what she wants will never happen, but i had enough, how inconsiderate and careless she has to be to be doing all of this and making me feel this way my whole pregnancy, is only so much i can ignore her. Specially when she wonāt stop. She been complaining about me wanting to give my baby a pacifier, over and over she complains about it. When I already made my decided, but she swear she will make me change my mind by telling me she never did with her kids.
It may feel much more natural to have baby sleep over if sheās an actual grandparent who is supporting you guys. But sheās disrespectful and trespassing boundaries taking an arm where she hasnāt even been offered a finger. That feels extremely unsafe obviously. Sheās made up this whole scenario in her head and now itās crashing down and sheās angry. The expectation should definitely be made clear, and only access given in your home at set times to build up a trust relationship. Sheās destroyed it completely, to ashes. And obviously, keep her far away from the hospital. Dont let her know when youāre going in, only once born. ā sheās going to be a different motherā¦by completely waltzing over the children she actually does have, š okay lady, take several seats.
Honestly weāre no contact right now. In a lot of ways itās better but it was obviously a really hard decision to come to.
I'd tell her now, she respects your boundaries or she will not see your child at all. You are the mother. She is not. If she wants a do over, she needs to repair her relationships with her kids. If she that desperately wants to mother a child she'll have to have another, adopt or Foster. Your child isn't her second chance.
@Charlotte she is crazy enough to ask to wear the carrier her self š„“ Iām not even joking. She keeps saying she wonāt treat the baby the way she treated her kids as if the baby was her new kid and she had a second chance. She wasnāt the best mother to her 4 kid, but Iām sorry that doesnāt mean you get to be a mom to my kids. Me and my partner been together for 11 years and struggled with infertility. Iām not letting her play mommy with my baby when I waited so long to become a mom.
Jesus. Baby isn't even here yet! She sounds unhinged! I wouldn't let her have the baby at all! My top tip... Baby wear. And whenever you go over there, have baby in the sling, then she can't take baby from you and refuse to give them back!! Love that the niece agreed with you too š My boy is now 2 and never spent more than a couple of hours away from me!
I donāt think I would live my baby with her at all Your baby is no body to share with when you donāt feel safe
@Munaza thats not even the half of it š«š„“ @Salina Iām happy and thankful that her niece didnāt agree with my mother in law, i was honestly scared she was going to have the same reaction. Did it ever get better with your mother in law ? @Stephanie exactly! I donāt think i will even be ready at 1 or 2. The way she is acting is making me never want to leave my baby with her. My partner told her you making it seem like you want to kidnap the baby, and she joked saying well yea š @Kabwe she is insane lol She thinks Iām a surrogate, she will have a second chance at raising her kids. She actually said at dinner, Iām not going to be the same person i was to you guys( her kids) i will be totally different to the baby. So she wants to do it all over differently š
She sounds insane lol. Like back the F off, the baby is yours and she canāt plan a birthday party without the parents. And I totally agree with sleep overs⦠she thinks she has some rights but she doesnāt⦠you can limit contact with her
I actually donāt know anyone whoās let their LO stay over with someone any younger than 3 or 4 so I think youāre being totally reasonable. I would absolutely hold your ground. I have had to explain boundaries to my own mother and other members of my own family more than once. Sometimes I donāt think they understand, other times I think they do genuinely forget. It depends on the person!
The niece is awesome for having your back like that. I donāt agree itās different for a boy vs girl because at the end of the day itās your baby your rules no matter the gender but she stuck up for you which is nice. My MIL had to be told multiple time by myself and my husband what our boundaries are. She also tried pinning us against each other with half truths and blatant lies. As long as you and your partner are a united front and communicate open and honestly with each other youāll be okay ā¤ļø
Baby isnāt even here yet and sheās being like that?! Jeez she sounds insane š„“ hold the line!x
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Youāll need a Maury type intervention āYou are NOT the mother!!ā