So apparently i hurt my mother in law feelings 🤦🏻‍♀️ me and my partner decided to take my mother in law and his grandmother to dinner. At dinner she said she had a question for me.

She asked me when will the baby be allowed to spend the night at her place, my response was when she is one or maybe 2. She got upset and said no way that’s crazy, are you serious wow. I said didn’t he tell you this, we spoke about it and he agrees, he told me he already had said this to you. She said no and was starting to cry, when the food came and conversation was changed. While we eating her niece walks in and joins us for dinner. She tells the niece you not going to believe what she told me referring to me with a attitude, proceeded to tell her niece i told her the baby wouldn’t be sleeping over till she one or maybe 2 year old, her niece said yes that’s normal my baby is 18 months and she haven’t spend the night with anyone and I’m not planning on that any time soon, referring to her daughter. His mom responded by saying ooh your son was always spending the night with me and her niece responded, well i was living with you thats why and its different with girls is a different attachment. Well she got mad at her niece too. Conversation ended. We go drop off his mom and grandma and she invites us upstairs, while at her place she shares with her 16 and 23 year old how I said the baby couldn’t spend the night till she is 1 or 2 The 13 year old said, you know how many kids she raised with a attitude, the 23 year old said wow that’s insane, that’s to long. The conversation quickly was changed. Shortly after that she starts talking about how she already planning the baby first birthday, my partner said no we don’t know what we doing yet and we don’t want anything over the top, her response to him was I’m going to do what ever i want as extra as i want in my place, he said something like no she said well ya don’t need to come 🥴 To be honest any other time I would’ve said idk about that question asked at dinner but she has been acting insane. Purchasing bed for baby, high chair and everything she would need for baby to be at her place. She has been pushing to go to sonograms, telling me in multiple occasions not to take epidural, not as a advice but demand. Planning baby first birthday party. I asked my partner why haven’t he cleared all this things out with his mother. He said he has had this conversation many times but she doesn’t understand, and he said at this point i dont need to be explaining to any of them because i already told them what is going to be. when the baby is here we are going to show them. All of this is honestly making very uncomfortable and anxious. I’m currently 37 weeks

Show your support

You’ll need a Maury type intervention “You are NOT the mother!!”

Let her play victim and then cut her off. It'll be her own doing. You and your baby come before her and her selfish wants and needs x

@Billie exactly!!! She is being very irrational. I know soon she will start to play victim. I already see it, but I won’t allow it because I won’t let her take from my experience as a first time mom, so she can be happy.

@Nina exactly! Thank you!!! She went and bought all of those things without even asking first, and after my partner telling her she kept acting like she didn’t hear him. She is so entitled already 🥴 I was told today I’m going to be induced soon and me and my partner made the decision to not tell her or his sisters, because of the pressure they would put on us and the way they would act if they had a day. My partner asked me why I listen to her if i know, what she wants will never happen, but i had enough, how inconsiderate and careless she has to be to be doing all of this and making me feel this way my whole pregnancy, is only so much i can ignore her. Specially when she won’t stop. She been complaining about me wanting to give my baby a pacifier, over and over she complains about it. When I already made my decided, but she swear she will make me change my mind by telling me she never did with her kids.

It may feel much more natural to have baby sleep over if she’s an actual grandparent who is supporting you guys. But she’s disrespectful and trespassing boundaries taking an arm where she hasn’t even been offered a finger. That feels extremely unsafe obviously. She’s made up this whole scenario in her head and now it’s crashing down and she’s angry. The expectation should definitely be made clear, and only access given in your home at set times to build up a trust relationship. She’s destroyed it completely, to ashes. And obviously, keep her far away from the hospital. Dont let her know when you’re going in, only once born. — she’s going to be a different mother…by completely waltzing over the children she actually does have, 😂 okay lady, take several seats.

Honestly we’re no contact right now. In a lot of ways it’s better but it was obviously a really hard decision to come to.

I'd tell her now, she respects your boundaries or she will not see your child at all. You are the mother. She is not. If she wants a do over, she needs to repair her relationships with her kids. If she that desperately wants to mother a child she'll have to have another, adopt or Foster. Your child isn't her second chance.

@Charlotte she is crazy enough to ask to wear the carrier her self 🥴 I’m not even joking. She keeps saying she won’t treat the baby the way she treated her kids as if the baby was her new kid and she had a second chance. She wasn’t the best mother to her 4 kid, but I’m sorry that doesn’t mean you get to be a mom to my kids. Me and my partner been together for 11 years and struggled with infertility. I’m not letting her play mommy with my baby when I waited so long to become a mom.

Jesus. Baby isn't even here yet! She sounds unhinged! I wouldn't let her have the baby at all! My top tip... Baby wear. And whenever you go over there, have baby in the sling, then she can't take baby from you and refuse to give them back!! Love that the niece agreed with you too 😂 My boy is now 2 and never spent more than a couple of hours away from me!

I don’t think I would live my baby with her at all Your baby is no body to share with when you don’t feel safe

@Munaza thats not even the half of it 😫🥴 @Salina I’m happy and thankful that her niece didn’t agree with my mother in law, i was honestly scared she was going to have the same reaction. Did it ever get better with your mother in law ? @Stephanie exactly! I don’t think i will even be ready at 1 or 2. The way she is acting is making me never want to leave my baby with her. My partner told her you making it seem like you want to kidnap the baby, and she joked saying well yea 🙄 @Kabwe she is insane lol She thinks I’m a surrogate, she will have a second chance at raising her kids. She actually said at dinner, I’m not going to be the same person i was to you guys( her kids) i will be totally different to the baby. So she wants to do it all over differently 🙄

She sounds insane lol. Like back the F off, the baby is yours and she can’t plan a birthday party without the parents. And I totally agree with sleep overs… she thinks she has some rights but she doesn’t… you can limit contact with her

I actually don’t know anyone who’s let their LO stay over with someone any younger than 3 or 4 so I think you’re being totally reasonable. I would absolutely hold your ground. I have had to explain boundaries to my own mother and other members of my own family more than once. Sometimes I don’t think they understand, other times I think they do genuinely forget. It depends on the person!

The niece is awesome for having your back like that. I don’t agree it’s different for a boy vs girl because at the end of the day it’s your baby your rules no matter the gender but she stuck up for you which is nice. My MIL had to be told multiple time by myself and my husband what our boundaries are. She also tried pinning us against each other with half truths and blatant lies. As long as you and your partner are a united front and communicate open and honestly with each other you’ll be okay ❤️

Baby isn’t even here yet and she’s being like that?! Jeez she sounds insane 🥴 hold the line!x

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌