Rule List - to send or not to send?

I think it’s time this post got deleted as it’s gone off track and causing a lot of upset 👀

@Masooma she blocked me. Racist twat.

@Jaymee racial stereotyping is a form of racism. Everyone you’ve come across? Do you think before you speak?! Girl speak for your culture. Leave ours alone cause clearly you don’t know the majority of us.

@Jaymee we all have different cultures. Arabic isn’t a culture. Yes it’s spreading hate. I feel extremely offended that you, obviously not Arab or Muslim, claim you know so much about my culture.

@Ley your husband lives in the US leaving you abandoned to feel lonely, literally says so on your account, and you don't think that's shitty?

@Ley Also, not hateful to say a certain culture is has unhealthy traits

@Ley it's not racism. It's stereotyping. So no I won't be apologising as everyone I've came across from these backgrounds all have the same family life where they allow themselves to be treated shit because its what they believe is okay

@Jamie so your uncle accounts for “them”? I’m confused af. No your uncle is one person, leave it as that please. Your comments are hateful towards a whole community.

@Jamie just as idiotic.

@Jaymee you better apologise to our community for this senseless comment. Being openly racist isn’t cute it’s disgusting, wth do you know about us?

@Masooma I can confirm, Arabic is a language. Openly hating on a race is insane, I’m surprised no one said nothing. This app is full is hate fr.

@Jaymee Arabic is a language. Each Arab/Muslim country has its own culture.

@Masooma oh hell no, what was said please? 👀👀

All I see is Arabic & Islam. Somebody fill me in please cause I feel targeted👀

@Laura 🌻 you didn't see the vile disgusting comments she put. She also didn't delete it. I reported her whole account as she's been commenting on posts all week being so bloody vile! She told a woman with depression to "get the job done". Peanut obviously agreed all her comments I reported were worth removing the entire account

@Jamie 1) You're literally taking your experience and putting it on a whole group of people, which had nothing to do with this post. "Arabic people tend to not really care about treatment of each other" is that not generalizing and harmful?? I didn't even see Sara's comments, but somehow her background got pulled into this conversation. 2) no one can be "Arabic". That is a language lol - really shows what you even know about this topic 3) just because I disagree with you, you think I obviously must be Sara?? Wow.

She’s not coming up because she’s deleted her account, well done ladies!! 🙄

@Masooma 1. My uncle is Arabic and Muslim we said a lot of them are like that we didn’t say all. 2. My uncle in law is Arabic and Muslim and I only stated the way he acts so don’t be acting like I was being rude on the entire Muslim and Arabic community cause I wasn’t. If you actually read what I said I was using my own knowledge on the people i actually know who I am related to or are family through my marriage not once did I say all. And another thing am I not allowed to bring up what happens within my own family? As an example and to understand why that person was so hateful and since you obviously seem mad are you that girl on a different account coming back to be right?

@Natalie I tried clicking on where I tagged her in my response to her comment and it came up with an error and all her comments for me are gone. But I didn’t even say anything rude or mean!

@Jaymee @Jamie Crazy that you both decided to bring in hateful comments against Muslims and Arabs to make a point. Just because some people you know are shitty doesn't mean you get to say that Muslims and Arabs are generally shitty people

Omgggg I'm screaming about him not washing his hands after pooping, and then feeding baby with those same hands!!! Like actually in baby's mouth!!! I can't even imagine what I would've done in this situation. Take baby and run omg I'm sorry that this needs to be done. You are the parent, they should be listening to you, no questions asked! You've asked countless times and even cut them off for a bit, hopefully these rules will make a difference this time around. Definitely send!

Hi, too many comments and haven't read most. I just wanted to say one thing really. Make sure you and hubby are on the same page. For example no kissing the baby at all. Then agree on consequences if they overstep. Like, straight away take the baby away and not let them hold them again that day? Or reduce visiting until they can follow some basic boundaries and hygiene? Mainly both agree on a rule and consequences of breaking said rule. Yes, it might cause some problems because they sound entitled and can do whatever because they're grandparents. But you're the parents and your main job is to make sure your kids are safe and not take care of adults with fragile egos who might have the emotional maturity of a toddler! Good luck!!! I hope they can sort their hygiene out!!!

If the comments are gone, does that mean you've been blocked? I didn't say anything directly to her 😂 Wtf

@Jaymee yeah. In my state, if they can prove they already had a relationship with the child, they can try for it. My MIL cannot do that with my baby because she’s not met her. And she’s 16 months old. (Also, apparently I am blocked by her too 😂 I didn’t even say anything mean)

@Alana Grandparents right aren't really a thing in the UK so depends where she's posting from. They can try call them in the UK (only England) but they need substantial proof of reasoning, simply being stopped seeing child isnr enough

@Sophie true, but if they try to threaten with “grandparent’s rights” this paper will work in her favor.

@Alana I think if they are the type of people to do anything on that list they’re also the type of people who won’t respect it if it’s written

@Jaymee obviously or she realised karma hit her hard for the bs she was spouting and realised her wrongs was gonna make her right and she didn’t like it so she made a run.

@Jamie I now can't find her either 😅 the better hatefulness she was spitting out she didn't seem to like in return

@Jaymee yeah I get what you really mean, my aunties Arabic husband goes to his country for months leaving his kids in our country and barely being in their lives like his parents are more important and the kids are irrelevant it’s horrible

@Sara her situation is completely different to yours yet you bring up something that’s completely irrelevant to what she said, hers is about her In laws and dad causing her first child being sick and not wanting her second sick like the previous child and you bring up death and cancer like it’s meant to make you seem like you have it harder it isn’t a competition nor should you just throw the word death and cancer out their I never used any of it I said I wouldn’t use my family’s death or illness as I used above as examples to win a convo it’s just wrong and you know it

@Jamie Arabic people tend to not really care about treatment of each other and just accept what they get given. Her favourite places are Subai etc and fav foods are Arabic

@Jaymee that’s what I was thinking cause my aunties Arabic husband constantly drops his kids to go see his parents for months on end so sounds like an explanation for why she’s acting that way

@Sara you seem to live a nice wee fancy life and clearly either you or your husbands family are Arabic, Muslim or something based off your behaviours and profile detailing meaning you don't mind family treating you like shit. That's for you to accept

@Sara also bringing up this is just gaslighting. She didn’t even mention anything about bad illness or death so your just making yourself look bad by using it. I wouldn’t ever use my nan death or my uncle having cancer or even my great uncle/uncle who has blocked artery and copd against anyone to be right and use it it’s only backlashing yourself no offence

@Sara You aren't dealing with any problems so calm your shit. Your mum is the one with cancer not you and your husband lost his father, again not you. You want to whine bitch moan and make everyone else's shit your own for pity and for those to feel sorry for you, guess what? Nobody does!

@Sara not really I asked a family friend and all my relatives to not be near my child if they are sick or been near someone sick one of them came over I didn’t know they was near someone who was sick they gave my child bronchitis and she nearly died so no this woman isn’t being passive aggressive she’s trying to prevent her child from being constantly ill while they have a weak immune system that can’t kill off the germs that are being spread or the illness that they might catch from these family members being dirty because they are too lazy to wash their hands after going the toilet or putting them in places that’s disgusting so if you want your child sick all the time cause you don’t wanna upset family or whatever then go for it because I’ve had my child ill enough cause people didn’t listen to me and she’s not even 1 yet so please don’t be rude about her rules for her child’s safety

@Laura 🌻 not sure she has taken a beating, people are just putting her straight. Everybody is still remaining kind. We also have the right to answer with our own opinion 🫶🏻

Okay, I think Sara has taken enough of a beating in the comments ladies. Let’s all be nice and remember this was a question and everyone has the right to answer their own option. Be kind to one another 🫶🏼

@Sara have you read my previous comments? I asked them in a respectful way MULTIPLE times, we also cut them out for 4 months because they still didn’t listen to us. So now what do you suggest after he done everything you’ve said? My partner is against it because he has issues putting boundaries in with his parents. If he’s unable to work as a team with me unfortunately I’ll have to do it myself. These rules are the last resort. I shouldn’t even have to send this! Count yourself lucky that you don’t have to be in this situation.

@Sophie that would be easier, but with the written, they can’t say the didn’t get told or didn’t understand. My husband’s family would try to pull that.

Send it. Same rules I have

I just find it mad you have to share this list with a bunch of grown adults how do they not know 😭 I would personally just speak to them in person and voice it rather than send out a list as they will take offence

@SaraRespecting your elders is a social construct to discourage younger generations from questioning or standing their ground against them. These aren’t boundaries, they are rules. a boundary is for yourself and rule is for someone else and these rules are being repeatedly broken. I will not allow anyone to disrespect my parenting on the basis that they are my elder or they have raised children and they turned out fine. 🤷🏻‍♀️.

@Sara something being passive aggressive is a thing that can be defined, so it’s not an opinion based thing. I was raised to respect elders, but I was also raised to respect people in general. Just because someone is older doesn’t mean they can do whatever they want with my child. For instance, if I found out someone was trying to discipline my child without me there, that is a boundary, what you call “rule”, that has been crossed. If it has not been spoken about beforehand, then a conversation would be had. If I had made it clear before the situation that I am parent and will be doing the discipline, then they would be cut off. But a notice of the boundary has to be provided for people to know.

@Sara just because they raised children 20/30/40 years ago doesn't mean anything. health and safety, germ knowledge, safety knowledge etc has all changed. when we know better we do better. for example i was in a forward facing booster seat at around 3 years old, but my child will rear face until a minimum of 6 because we know it's safer. rules save lives, it's not rude

@Sara if her husband isn't happy with the list being sent then he's obviously not going to be happy about cutting them off ? what happened to the partnership and joint decisions viewpoint you have?

@Sara maybe your family are kind and will listen to your concerns but clearly OP's family are a bunch of boundary stompers who literally tell her to fuck off and do what they want regardless. no this is not school, this is her child's LIFE !!!!!! do you really think germs are a joke, that if a baby gets ill it cant kill them? this isn't something to take lightly

@Sara this is her last ditch effort for them to have a relationship with her children. That’s not passive aggressive or patronizing. It’s putting her boundaries for her children’s health and welfare in plain view so that no one can say they didn’t know. This is what is recommended by therapists now so I’ll be going by that.

@Sara have you missed to comments where OP has said she had these conversations in person and was completely ignored by her. In-laws and dad? Where she directly asked her dad to please wash his hands after pooing and he said no then fed the kid jam off his poo germ hands? She had tried your way, she has tried the “normal” way this is her last attempt at getting them to follow her rules.