Shall I Say something?

Me and my husband we got a new home and we choose mainly white or cream colour for everything, sofas carpets etc. We had a baby last year and her birthday is coming up. His brother got a dog and after that we avoided having them around our house as we didn't want the dog here when the baby was little and secondly is a very young dog not well behaved and we know it will make a mess. Even when he will be trained we both agreed that we don't want any pets in the house. I love dogs but I want my house as germs free as possible. I know I may be OCD woth this but that's my choice. My husband supports me on this but we are trying to be nice and we didn't say anything to his brother. His brother is living away so every time he comes he brings the dog and we always end up having a gathering at their parents house which is near because we don't want to say we don't want his dog over. This time is our Lo's first birthday and I want to have her birthday at our house as is special and it's our first house too. I can't keep having parties at their parents house. We are adults we have a life and it's our rules. I spoke to my MIL about this and she said I can't ask them not to bring their dog it's their baby but I stood up for myself for the first time and I said well they can't keep putting us in this situation. It was their choice to have a dog but its our choice not to want it over. She was shocked but she was telling me if you want them their you have to have the dog, roll up carpets , cover sofas with towels so they don't get dirty. I don't want to change my house decor and make it look messy so I can have a dog around. Also this will be ongoing. I can't not have parties at my house for the rest of our lives because of the dog. I just don't want it over. My choice. I love dogs but it's my choice not to want a pet. If I wanted I would off get one. Am I unreasonable? I want to get my husband to tell his brother. Is it a good idea?

Show your support

I would definitely speak to the Brother directly ( nicely ) or if you don’t wanna do that I would suggest letting him know that you do not want pets in the house so if he brings his dog to your daughter‘s birthday that the dog would have to go in the backyard😬

You do not nor should you ever be expected to change your house or plans for someone else. His brother made a choice and got a dog. He does not have to travel everywhere with his dog. There are dog sitters and dog boarding. Explain to bil that you love his dog but you do not want the dog at your house. He can decide if he wants to go and find a sitter or if he is gonna miss it. It's unrealistic to take a dog everywhere and he should figure something out.

A dog ISN’T a child though. They can’t expect that their dog is welcome everywhere especially without asking. Your mother-in-law is just trying to create conflict or compare your child to a dog.

His dog is not his child. A dog can be left alone for a couple hours. A baby cannot.

It’s a fucking birthday party in someone’s house. They wouldn’t bring it to someone else’s house that they were invited to a baby bday party. We just went to my friends BBs bday & I can’t imagine people bringing their own pets. We’re the same about pets indoors since our baby. It was just too much for me postpartum to clean after fucking pets too. Our cats are now barn cats. 😮‍💨 One time my friend brought her dog inside our house ONCE and her fine hair is still blowing around here & there & I sweep & vacuum. There WILL be remanence of dog if they bring it.

ITS RUDE OF THEM TO EXPECT YOU TO HOST A DOG.

This is crazy. My sister owned a dog and I still asked her every time if it was ok to bring mine and if not he is safe (if unhappy) in his crate for a few hours. It is completely up to you and no reasonable dog owner is going to hold it against you that you don't want dogs there

We have two dogs, and we just leave them home alone for a few hours. It's not anyone else's responsibility to cater to my animals.

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your responses. It makes me feel so relieved that I am not unreasonable.

It honestly shouldn’t be a big deal. People with pets shouldn’t just presume their pets will be welcome in someone else’s home and it’s totally okay for you to set that boundary. I’d suggest him leaving the pet at his parents house if they don’t have a problem with it while they attend the party. If they have an issue it, it’s a them problem not a you problem.

Definitely not unreasonable. The dog is not a baby and doesn’t need to be taken everywhere with them. You shouldn’t have to make adjustments to your home to keep them happy. Tell your husband to be straight up & say the dog isn’t welcome. I wouldn’t want a dog in my home with a baby either, like you said if you wanted a dog in your home you’d have got one!

Either ask them not to bring the dog or do you have a garden the dog could be in if the weather’s ok?

You can definitely ask them not to bring a dog. That is weird to bring a dog to another persons house without asking. A dog is not a baby because I dog can be left at home for a few hours by themselves. He can leave the dog at his parent’s house or board the dog or get a dog sitter if he is going far from home.

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