Hi ladies I really need HELP!!!

We lived alone for 1st year up north then I got pregnant and my family are all in London and he knew I'd wanna be with my mum for that time so we moved to hers as London is expensive and we are still stuck here

You mentioned you lived with your partner for a year before. What happened to change that in the last 4 years?

The thing is technically I'm doing them a favour because without me none of them would really have a roof over their heads. It's because I have a disability and my mum is put down as my career so they leave her to not look for fully time work and just give her her benefits/housing because of it but I was made to lose out on like 400 a month for that to happen but I thought sure because I mean its where I live and its my mum so ofc I'm gonna do it and then because of the money I lose out on I don't pay anymore rent. And yet they still talk to me like this. They I'm also doing them a favour especially my mum because without me she would either lose her benefits/house or have to get a full time job that could cover £1500 in rent a month. It's a joke I could use that 400 for my baby. Fucking pisses me off

I do get that, obviously that's just a glimpse of that conversation, so I can only speak my opinion on what I read. It's good he stands up for you when your family are bringing you down. I think it's horrible they are saying those things and laughing about it. Your boyfriend does need to stop taking things out on you when he gets angry though. You sound like a really lovely person with negative people around you. I think your family thinks they can talk to you how they want because they're the ones doing you a favour, they wouldn't expect you to be rude back. They sound like horrible people and if you think you'll be happier away from them and with your boyfriend then do that. You have a family of your own now who you need to protect 🙏🏾

And they were trying to tell me idk how to manage my baby basically as me and my partner said yeah this is what he does (we should know) and then they were like nahh your wrong he does this with me. Like excuse you. Who are you people to tell us (his parents) that we don't know what he does/how it acts to things. Like stfu

@Kay this is a rare occurrence in our relationship. He is constantly calling me pretty, beautiful, amazing, saying I love you. Like every time we talk he is complimenting me. And never puts me down. And yesterday in kitchen he was trying to stand up for me and say I can do everything on my own but they basically just laughed and made jokes and basically said yeah right no you can't. So I would 100000% go with him. Sick of these people. They deserve me or my child if that's how they speak about me. My partner was upset/angry so got a bit heated in response to me. He was like proper rude just telling me to leave him alone so he can calm down. He atleast didn't say nasty things about me. He never does

No I know why he's getting like that but I don't allowed it it's like I say yeah. I said no he is sick. And I left it at that I didn't let it go on any longer

Honestly can understand his anger a bit. Not only does your family “joke” about him but it seems like you continuously allow it by writing it off as a joke. Doesn’t excuse how he’s speaking but also I think you could stand to understand his view a bit

This message is giving me toxic vibes. The fact your still being loving to him whilst he takes it out on you and then shits all over your family. That ain't right, them "K" and "Ok" are passive aggressive responses. Your telling him you love him and reassuring him and he can't even speak to you like an adult. I just saw your recent replies, sounds like your family doesn't have faith in you, they're putting you down. I'm not saying live by yourself but right now neither your partner nor your family seem healthy for you

Are they taking fucking piss????? I'm so done with this place and these people! Like I've this be said to me multiple times and nasty digs and questions about my parenting etc since baby been born and I just can't take it anymore

I'm sorry but after what's just happened I'm so done!!! So I normally don't tell him the little things but he has been asking a LOT recently about if my mum and that are saying stuff about him so i know he wouldn't let it know until i tell him and then he would be pissed i didn't tell him in 1st place. Anyways. I just stood in kitchen with partner and baby and literally had everyone I live with take turns saying how I can't look after myself and wouldn't survive without my mum. If I lived alone I wouldn't hack it.

I wouldn't move from my family. If you're not careful he could isolate you from your family.

The fact that you think this behaviour is normal and speak about it so nonchalantly is concerning. If you’re not willing to leave him then I suggest getting him professional help for his anger and therapy because something isn’t right up there 🧠

Have you tried not taking it personally and letting him sulk, he's having a reaction to what he thinks your mum said, you only need to tell him once that it was a joke and you love him, done. Anything more than this is feeding the beast he's saying k to you he wants the convo to be done he wants to strop thats it you do not need to take sides, your mum is supporting you, your mum is supporting her grandchild. I would have said I see your point it would make me feel uncomfortable as well I'll have a chat with my mum and I nice hug waiting for you when your ready...and some walm milk 😂😂 (couldn't resist). Also, maybe just don't tell him the small things...

Has he considered counselling? It sounds like there may be some other stuff going on for him that's actually unrelated to your mum. I'm really sorry he's taking it out on you, everything you've said to him comes across as supportive.

So any other suggestions other then leaving him because I won't be doing that.

We lived together in our own place for a year before we had to move in with my parents so I know what it's like living with him

I've been with him for 4 years I know what he's like he acts like this and then by time he gets back from work he would of calmed down apologised to me for way he spoke to me and that but I do still feel as though we have stayed to long at the parents home now and it's starting to cause friction

I’d get rid of him and stay with your family! The way he speaks to you is vile, whether he’s angry or not he shouldn’t disrespect you like that. The way he speaks about your family too is a massive red flag & the way you respond to him, you can tell you walk on eggshells in your relationship because you pander to his tantrums. Sorry to be blunt but he’s a dick & I definitely wouldn’t be moving away with someone like him!

As I said I was really all for moving outside London anyways but then something happens and I rely on my mum a lot with help and idk what would happen now if I left London. I'd be willing to do it but I just feel like because it's my mum he can't take his anger out on her so it's being focused onto me which isn't fair. He's at work now so I can't even speak to him about it.