How to handle MIL?
Hi all! I’ve been feeling bad about issues with my MIL, but it’s actually good to be able to read others’ stories, it makes me feel less alone in this.
We live abroad, so my MIL spends a week at ours and we spend about 1-2 weeks when we return our home country.
In the time when she’s here she always starts off being very nice and I do try my very best every time even trying to adapt to her just to keep the peace.
So last time I felt like her stay sent me to depression. My husband would really like us to get on, but he knows that she’s criticising everyone for everything, that’s her nature, that’s how I should accept her he says.
So a few examples: I said to my toddler that he can’t have dessert, without having had dinner. I said that very clearly. My MIL said to him that he doesn’t have to eat dinner, he can just have dessert. This is not the first time that she tried to overrule what I asked from my son. :(
Another time I asked when was my son’s cup been filled the last time, my husband said yesterday so I just went to refill it. She said that last time she drank a one week old water and she was fine, they used to do this all the time and she’s ok.
I told her that as I’ll probably have a bit of free time with my son starting preschool, she suggested that I could learn to cook, after having eaten the lunch I’ve done. (I’ve been cooking dinner every day for 2 years now, before it was every other day) I’m also 31, have started practising at 16.
At my mum’s house she visited us and as it has a communal area with a playground she took my son down I was with them too. I asked my son to leave other kids’ bikes alone as that’s not ours, we don’t know how they feel about us trying it. She kept on pushing it like she didn’t hear me. That time I got quite upset as it was also my mum’s area where she should try and adapt to others.
I just feel like she’s interfering so much and she comes across as very rude. Although she does have a nice social personality too, but I just feel like I’m in her way. :( I’m a bit disappointed as I love my husband, but these things can create arguments between us too, especially when I feel like I got overloaded and go into depressed mode.
I’d like to ask if anyone has a similar MIL and/if there’s any way to handle this situation right? I’ve always been very fond of my grandmas, so it’s important to me to try to have a good relationship.
*I should add it all started when we got engaged, we had hardly any issues for 9 years before that. It got intense when my son was born.