Stupid or strong

Just found out my man of just under 3 years fucked someone else while on holiday. I grew up in care with no family he and my daughter are all I have. He’s my best friend and has helped me with my ptsd just romantically he’s shit. I’ve caught him flirting with other girls but this time he’s fucked her, continued to talk to her when he came back plus still speaking to other girls. Should I give him a chance for all the good he’s done or tell him to leave my house for the evil shit he’s done? I’m 22 and I feel like my life is over. I just don’t wanna be hurt anymore but I don’t wanna be without my support from him. What should I do?
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You are worth so much more than this, he needs to go and you will find a lovely man who will treat you for what you are worth. You deserve the best ❤️

Get rid ! He will do it again unfortunately

Sis he needs to go!, trust me when he leaves that’s when you’ll realise how strong you are. Upgrade yourself , invest in a course to bring you income on the side, do your theory and practical test, meet new friends and most importantly get counselling. I had to learn the hard way, if someone don’t show you they care when you’re with them, what do you think they’ll do when you leave. He needs to be BANGED 👊🏽 in the face maybe that will reset his brain back to factory settings!

Omg get rid

👋

You heal your trauma. Move 💕 grow 🌞 love yourself 💗🙏

Kick him out wtf he has no respect for you at all honestly you deserve so much better

@Shukurat you’re right 😓I just wanna be like God and forgive and still manage to love for the sake of my family but I don’t know how I could move on easily from this 😮‍💨He’s a good dad but he needs to do more and I feel like if he leaves then he will use it as a excuse to do less

Well I have a very different perspective to this. Ask yourself what do you really want from the relationship? Are you mentally and emotionally ready to deal with him cheating over and over again if he doesn’t change after giving him a second chance or you plan to walk away if he doesn’t? His he a good example to your daughter? Most importantly what advice will you give to your daughter if she was in the same situation,(God forbids it) would you tell her to stay where she is belittled and her emotional wellbeing is being trampled on by a man who can not control herself and be committed and contented in his relationship and set good example’s. My dear the decision to stay is in your hands and so is the decision to leave the relationship. He has made the decision to cheat knowing fully well that you will be hurt and this will have a huge effect on your relationship but yet he did it anyway🤕. love yourself more, reflect and decide accordingly, pray for CLARITY❤️❤️

@Paris he iss, I told him yesterday if I was to forgive him ever then a million % I’m getting my lick back first

I defo will @Queen, I need a plan for healing from this ❤️thank you

He’s such a wasteman. He let you because he knows he’s wrong. Don’t normalise his behaviour. Flip the table and see how crazy he’d go if you slept with someone for that reason.

Hmmm make a plan, for the next year where do you envision yourself, make a vision board and sooner than later you’ll realise you’re actually manifesting that life

@Paris it’s true lol he is weak

Thank you @Queen that’s honestly giving me a bit of hope but boyy it’s hard to think about life on my own right now, but I did say to him just give me and your baby a good Christmas because I’ve had the hardest year I just need something good before it all comes crashing down 😓he said okay so I guess afterwards we’ll see what happens but I know for sure I’m not in love with him now so that’s gonna help me x

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I can’t lie @Parishe let me punch him up for a hour when I found out yesterday morning 😭

You have you family. You and your daughter . You don’t need a stinky weak ass man who has shown he has no sexual discipline in your life

And you 100% deserve that happy family life, but remaining attached to your old life (old version of you/being in a relationship with this person) is the first and final act of self sabotage and releasing it is what we must prepare for in order to truly be willing to see real change, your daughter deserves a good male figure in her life and as do you. When you see your daughter have that amazing father figure, you will be healing your inner child without you even releasing it and life will become so much more nicer 🥰

Girl imma be so real with you. That excuse he gave is so disrespectful. He would have gotten a HOT slap from me. Respect and love yourself. Do NOTTTTT let someone tell you TWICE that they don’t want/care/love/respect you

All of you are speaking truth 😭it’s hard to think about but it’s true, compared to my trauma as a kid and growing up I guess this is not so bad I just wanted a family more than anythingg, that’s all I could think about during what I went through. He said he wasn’t happy with me and so he felt the need to get affection elsewhere and I’ve done my little flirting with men after he’s done his stuff, but I’ve never slept with anyone else 😩but how can he not be happy if he never tried to put even half the effort I did? I’m friends with his cousin and she’s telling me he’ll be back blah blah blah but if he does what do I do?? I just want a normal boring life ffs 💔

If you decide to stay with someone like this, you will be doing the biggest disservice to yourself and your daughter ❤️

Also regarding being in care and no family, my darling you haven’t even met all of the people that you’re going to meet in this lifetime, there’s so many people that you’re going to meet that will enter your life, many people that you will love too, and yes people come and go but the ones who are written to stay will stay 🫶🏻❤️

No babe he’s already shown you how much he respect you and your union, it isn’t real love if he’s already slept with someone else . It’s eastenders that make you think /feel that way

I’m based in SE LDN if your local or wanna meet up (not trying to be weird or nothing 😂)cah u don’t meet much care leavers who are mums that understand certain things

I also wish to say that your new life will cost you your old one, and that every next level of your life will demand a stronger version of you, so if something major comes into your life such as this major life change that’s about to happen, then it’s surely for the good. 🫶🏻

Gurl I’ve grown up in care myself so I get u when u say him n ur daughter r all u have. Being 20 yrs old myself, it ain’t easy to let go of ppl, especially someone u have a child with but once u put that boundary in and leave him, it will get easier over time. It’s not gonna be an overnight thing, cah there’s so many feelings n emotions, but u have the rest of ur life to find someone who is willing to accept u, n not been looking elsewhere cah that is the biggest sign of disrespect. Always here to chat if ur down n take of urself gurl cah growing up in care, we r a lot stronger than wat we give ourselves credit for xxx

@Simi periodtttt

You are 22 years old, your life isn’t over. Your life is just getting started. Leave this shit guy, or else you’ll forever be in the loop of getting hurt. He might be a good friend to you for all the things he has done but he doesn’t love you. It’s gonna hurt but you’ll thank yourself later.

If your gut isn’t saying yes immediately. Then it’s a no. (At least that’s how I seee things)

If it happens once, it could happen again. It’s just wether you are willing to risk sticking around for it happen (or not )

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Everyone is capable of change. But you need to ask yourself. Are you willing to deal with situations/feelings like this for the rest of your life?

So does this mean he isn’t capable of change?

Also. Remember this. Love doesn’t hurt. It should never hurt.

What ever is meant for you will never miss you.

Thanks girls. I need that tough love right now. Do you think if the love is real we’ll come back to each other?

If you forgive him. You’re literally telling him that’s it’s okay to do. He’ll do it again and feel no way about it because he will remember the last time and how you accepted. I promise you your life isn’t over. It may be a little hard right now but it will pass!!

@Queen I second this.

I would deffo leave him because what are you teaching your daughter? That a man who disrespects you , you should stay with him? More than that, you deserve respect, love isn’t enough in relationships…

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